How can I help my child see feelings as part of their fitrah? 

Parenting Perspective 

Feelings Are Not Shameful 

Children often receive mixed messages about emotions. They might hear ‘big boys do not cry’ or ‘do not be angry’, making them feel that strong feelings are bad. Helping your child to see that feelings are part of their Fitrah, their pure, natural state created by Allah Almighty—teaches them that emotions are not something to be ashamed of. Use simple words: ‘Allah Almighty made our hearts to feel happy, sad, worried, or angry. These feelings help us to know what is happening inside.’ 

Feelings Are Signals 

Talk with your child about how feelings are like signals. For example, worry can help us to prepare, anger can show that something feels unfair, and sadness can remind us to ask for comfort. Use calm moments to share small examples: ‘When you felt scared about starting school, that feeling helped us to talk about what you needed.’ Let them know that it is not the feelings themselves that cause harm, but what we choose to do with them. Practise healthy ways to handle emotions: naming them, talking to you, making Dua, or using simple calming tools. Praise your child when they share what they feel, reminding them, ‘Your feelings show you have a soft, honest heart.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours the human fitrah, the pure nature that Allah Almighty created in every soul. Emotions are part of that beautiful design. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 30: 

‘So establish your (physical and moral) direction towards the pathway of life (compliant with existential nature as created by Allah Almighty) that is principled (and virtuous)….‘

This Ayah reminds us that our natural state includes the ability to feel deeply and to turn those feelings towards what pleases Allah Almighty. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it defective.‘

Teach your child that their feelings, when handled with gentleness, keep the heart beautiful and soft. You can share a simple Dua to help them embrace their emotions: ‘Ya Allah, help my heart stay pure and guide my feelings.’ Over time, your child will grow to see that emotions are not flaws but come to understand that emotions are not flaws but gifts, a natural part of their fitrah, meant to be acknowledged, discussed, and managed are gifts; a natural part of their Fitrah, meant to be understood, spoken about, and handled in ways that bring them closer to Allah Almighty.