Parenting Perspective 

To a young child, the concept of adab (Islamic manners and conduct) can seem like an abstract list of rules: say salaam, share your toys, do not interrupt. To make it meaningful, it is important to show them that adab is not just about following instructions, but about expressing kindness, respect, and making others feel valued. The best approach is to simplify the concept into daily actions they can see, imitate, and feel proud of. 

Use Relatable Stories and Examples 

Tell your child simple stories that show how good manners can make people happy. For instance, you could say, ‘When you said salaam to Grandma today, she smiled so warmly because your greeting showed her respect.’ Connecting adab to these tangible, positive outcomes helps a child understand the purpose behind the behaviour. 

Show, Do Not Just Tell 

Children primarily learn adab by observation. When they see you greeting neighbours with a smile, sharing food with others, or thanking shopkeepers, they absorb the understanding that respect is a lived reality, not just a spoken rule. You can gently highlight this by saying, ‘Did you see how happy Uncle felt when we thanked him for his help?’ This reinforces the emotional impact of good manners. 

Celebrate Small Acts of Goodness 

Acknowledge and praise your child when they demonstrate good adab. By saying, ‘That was wonderful adab when you waited so patiently for your turn,’ you are labelling the positive action. This helps them recognise that good manners are not just extra rules to follow but are an integral part of their developing Muslim identity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Adab is a central pillar of Islam, intrinsically linking everyday behaviour to one’s faith. It is not considered separate from worship but is an essential part of how a Muslim is expected to live. 

The Measure of Nobility 

The Quran teaches that our conduct towards others is a reflection of our righteousness and is the true measure of our worth in the sight of Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 13: 

‘ O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous…’ 

The Path to Being Beloved 

The character of a believer is perfected through their manners, which is a quality deeply loved by the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3559, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of you to me are those who have the best manners.’ 

This prophetic guidance teaches us that excellent adab is not merely optional but is central to earning the love of the Prophet ﷺ and, by extension, Allah Almighty. 

By explaining adab in simple terms of kindness, respect, and thoughtfulness, you help your child see that every small act of good behaviour is also an act of worship. Over time, they will grow to love and cherish good manners as a fundamental part of who they are.