How can I explain that even scholars sometimes wrestle with big questions? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children often imagine Islamic scholars as people who already know everything. In their minds, a scholar is a perfect, finished product, untouched by confusion or doubt. This perception, while innocent, can be harmful. When the child inevitably develops their own complex questions about faith or existence, they may feel shame, believing their questions are a sign of weak iman. They compare their inner ‘wrestling’ with the imagined, effortless certainty of the learned. 

Your role as a parent is to gently dismantle this false image. When your child asks a hard question, resist the instinct to silence them with phrases like, ‘We are not meant to ask that.’ That response teaches them that faith is afraid of thought. Instead, you can say gently, ‘That is a profound question. It is something scholars themselves have reflected on and discussed for centuries. Faith is not about shutting down questions, but about learning how to seek answers sincerely.’ This response transforms their uncertainty from a private failing into a shared, noble invitation for learning. The child realises that religion is not a closed system but a living, breathing intellectual discipline, one that grows through reflection, humility, and sincere effort. 

The Scholar as a Lifelong Seeker 

It is helpful to explain that a scholar is not someone who has finished learning, but rather someone who has dedicated their entire life to the process of learning. We often see the final book, the polished lecture, or the confident ruling. We do not see the years of drafts, the long nights of study, or the intense debates with other scholars. 

You can share the example of Imam Al Ghazali, one of the most brilliant minds in Islamic history. He famously went through a profound period of intellectual and spiritual struggle, wrestling with deep questions about certainty and truth. He did not hide this; he wrote about it. His journey through that doubt is what led him to an even deeper, more unshakeable faith. His honesty shows that wrestling with big ideas is not a sign of leaving the faith, but often a path to owning it more deeply. 

Questions as a Mark of Sincerity 

You must help your child differentiate between two types of questioning. One type comes from arrogance, seeking only to poke holes or to ‘win’ an argument. The other type comes from a place of humble sincerity, a genuine desire to understand, to feel closer to Allah, and to be in awe of His wisdom. 

A scholar’s ‘wrestling’ is this second type. It is an act of intellectual worship. When scholars debate complex issues like qadr (destiny) or the nature of Allah’s attributes, they are not doing it to weaken faith. They are doing it with immense care and reverence, trying to find the most accurate understanding that protects the truth. Their struggle is a sign of how much they care about getting it right. 

Modelling ‘I Do Not Know’ as a Virtue 

Your most powerful tool in this conversation is your own humility. When your child asks a question you cannot answer, do not panic. See it as a golden opportunity. You can smile and say, ‘That is a wonderful, deep question. I actually do not know the complete answer.’ 

This is not a failure. You are modelling scholarly humility. You are teaching them that truth is more important than ego. Then, you must follow it with the most important part: ‘…but let us find out together.’ You can then look up what a trusted scholar says about the topic. This action teaches your child that faith is not brittle; it is not afraid of ‘I do not know’ because it is confident in its sources, the  noble Quran and the Sunnah, and the tradition of scholars who interpret them. 

Explaining That Some Questions End in Submission 

Finally, it is important to explain that scholars also ‘wrestle’ to understand where the limits of human reason are. There are some questions, especially about the unseen (al ghayb), that our minds were not designed to fully comprehend. 

You can use the  noble Quran’s own example: when the people asked Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ about the Ruh (the soul or spirit), Allah Almighty revealed the answer: ‘…Say, ‘The Spirit is of the command of my Lord; and of knowledge, you (mankind) have been given only a little.” (Surah Al Isra, 17:85). Even the greatest scholars wrestle with an idea until they reach this boundary. At that point, their ‘struggle’ transforms into the highest form of knowledge: submission. They stop asking ‘how’ and they say, ‘We hear and we obey.’ This submission is not a failure of intellect; it is the ultimate purpose of it. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours the pursuit of knowledge, or ijtihad (intellectual struggle), as one of the greatest acts of worship. The  noble Quran constantly encourages reflection, dialogue, and the search for understanding. Even scholars, with all their learning, remain humble students before Allah Almighty. Their questions are not signs of weakness but of a profound awareness that His wisdom is infinite, and our human understanding will always be partial. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Yusuf (12), Verse 76: 

‘…And above every possessor of knowledge is one [more] knowing…’ 

This verse teaches that no matter how learned a person becomes, there is always someone with deeper understanding. Ultimately, all knowledge belongs to Allah Almighty. It reminds both parents and children that humility before knowledge is itself a form of faith. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 1376, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When Allah Almighty wishes good for someone, He bestows upon him the understanding of the religion.’ 

This Hadith shows that the ability to learn, reflect, and seek is a divine gift. Scholars wrestle with questions not because their faith is weak, but because they are actively drawing nearer to the ‘understanding’ that Allah Almighty grants to those He loves. Their struggle is a part of their worship. 

When your child learns that even scholars think, pause, debate, and seek answers, they stop fearing their own questions. They begin to see that their mind and their soul are partners in faith, not enemies. Every act of reflection, when guided by sincerity, becomes a step closer to Allah Almighty. By showing them that knowledge and humility walk hand in hand, you prepare them to face their own questions with grace, courage, and reverence.