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How can I discipline my child firmly without making them feel unloved or rejected in that moment? 

Parenting Perspective 

Discipline as Guidance, Not Control 

Fundamentally, discipline is about guiding and connection rather than control. A child’s neurological system is frequently already overloaded when they misbehave. Discipline might feel like abandonment if it manifests as rejection, rage, or emotional disengagement. However, discipline that is administered with emotional warmth and calm firmness turns into a teaching moment rather than a confrontation. Say something along the lines of, I love you, and I will not tolerate this behaviour from you because I love you. We do not treat people like this. Keep your body language open but steady, speak at their level, and make eye contact. You are maintaining a barrier within love, not retreating from it. 

Building Resilience Through Safety 

Your child will learn from this method that being corrected does not equate to being rejected. Additionally, it assists individuals in distancing their identity from their actions, which is an essential component of a sound sense of self-worth. They learn, I made a mistake, and my parent helped me grow from it, as opposed to feeling like a ‘bad child.’ Trust and emotional resilience are fostered by discipline based on this type of safety. The message becomes: I will keep you close and hold you accountable. Because of this, discipline is not only beneficial but also therapeutic. 

Spiritual Insight 

Despite his firm advice, the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was always cautious to maintain the dignity and spirit of the person he was correcting. He was the master of gentle correction. One such moment is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2022, when he corrected a young boy eating improperly: 

Boy, mention the name of Allah, and eat with your right hand and eat from what is near to you 

Kindness and clarity were the only things present, not scolding warnings or harshness. The emotional tone was safe and kind, but the correction was obvious. This prophetic illustration demonstrates that direction need not be accompanied with rage. Actually, when it comes to love, it lasts longer. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tahreem (66), Verse 6: 

O you who are Believers, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire (of Jahannam) whose fuel is people and stones…” 

This verse serves as a reminder that one of our responsibilities as parents is to mentor and shield our children from behavioural and spiritual harm. But fear is not the only thing that builds that protection. It is based on constancy, kindness, and genuine concern. The whole experience is changed when your child receives discipline while feeling safe, seen, and loved. It shifts from being about dread of punishment to being about enduring love. That is prophetic parenting, not just good parenting. It embodies Tarbiyyah in its purest, most empathetic form. 

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