How can I comfort and support my child when they feel nervous about exams? 

Parenting Perspective 

Validate Their Feelings and Create a Calming Presence 

Nervousness before exams is common, and it often signals that your child cares deeply about doing well. Rather than trying to eliminate their worry, help them navigate it. Begin by validating their emotions: say something like, ‘It is okay to feel nervous, it means you want to do your best.’ Avoid dismissive comments such as ‘There is nothing to worry about’ as they can make your child feel misunderstood. Instead, create a calming presence through eye contact, warm hugs, and a steady tone of voice. Small grounding practices like deep breathing, stretching, or even stepping outside for a few minutes can help release physical tension. 

Offer Gentle Affirmations that Focus on Effort 

Offer gentle affirmations that focus on effort rather than outcome. Say, ‘I am proud of how hard you have worked,’ or ‘Let us trust Allah Almighty with the results.’ Remind your child that exams do not measure their worth or potential, they are just one part of a much wider journey. Avoid comparing them to siblings or classmates and never use fear or shame as a motivator. What children need most in anxious moments is a sense of safety, not more pressure. Consider reciting a short Dua together or playing soft Quranic recitation to create a peaceful environment. Let your child know that you are proud of their efforts and that their value in your eyes, and in Allah Almighty’s, is never defined by a grade. 

Spiritual Insight 

In moments of vulnerability, Islamic teachings offer deep comfort and clarity. Anxiety before a test is not a weakness, it is an opportunity to model Tawakkul, the beautiful balance between striving and trusting. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 160: 

“If you are the recipient of assistance from Allah (Almighty), then no one can prevail over you; and if He (Allah Almighty) forsakes you, then who is it that can assist you after Him; and (the true) believers place their absolute reliance upon Allah (Almighty). “

This verse reminds us that support from Allah Almighty outweighs any worldly fear. Teach your child that seeking Allah Almighty’s help through Duas, effort, and calm focus is more valuable than worrying about outcomes. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2664, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

“Be hopeful of what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not lose heart. If anything befalls you, do not say, If only I had done this or that, but say instead, Qaddar Allah wa ma sha’a fa‘al (It is the decree of Allah and He does what He wills). “

This Hadith teaches resilience through faith. It reframes nervousness as a natural part of the journey, to be met with trust, not panic. 

By embedding this mindset into pre-exam moments, you are teaching your child that their self-worth is anchored in Imaan, not perfection. Let them see exams as a place to practise courage and connection with Allah Almighty, a chance to lean on faith and grow stronger, regardless of the final mark. That is a lesson far more valuable than any score.