Parenting Perspective 

Teach That Losing is a Normal Part of Life 

Resilience is not about preventing a child from feeling sad; it is about teaching them to manage their feelings calmly. Before a game even begins, you can prepare them by saying, ‘The most important thing is that we have fun playing together. Sometimes we will win, and sometimes we will lose.’ This simple step helps to set realistic expectations and frames losing as a normal part of life. 

Model Calmness and Patience 

If your child gets upset after losing, it is important to respond with empathy, not frustration. Acknowledge their feelings by saying, ‘I know it feels difficult to lose, but shouting does not help. Let’s take a deep breath.’ By modelling a calm response, you show them that disappointment can be handled with dignity and without an emotional outburst. 

Focus on Effort, Not the Outcome 

Make a conscious effort to praise your child’s effort, not just the result. Saying, ‘I was so impressed by how you kept trying, even when the game became difficult,’ shifts their focus from winning to the process of playing. This helps them to accept losing without feeling like a failure. You can even introduce low-stakes games to give them plenty of practice at losing gracefully, celebrating when they handle it well. 

Spiritual Insight 

Loss is a Test, and the Patient are Victorious 

Islam teaches that life is full of tests, including moments of loss. The Quran reminds us that true success is not in avoiding these tests, but in facing them with patience (sabr), for which Allah promises a great reward. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 155: 

‘And indeed, very soon We (Allah Almighty) will test you with something: with fear; and hunger; and impoverishment of wealth and life and fruits of life; and give good news to those who are resilient.’ 

Resilience is Tied to Self-Control 

This prophetic teaching reminds us that a believer’s character is defined by self-control and thinking of others, even in moments of personal need or disappointment. Resilience, therefore, is not just about enduring loss, but about maintaining one’s grace and compassion throughout. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, 112, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer is not he who eats his fill while his neighbour is hungry.’ 

Loss as an Opportunity for Growth 

When you guide your child to see losing as a small test of their patience, they begin to value calmness and self-control as true strengths. This mindset helps them to handle disappointments with dignity, which brings peace to their hearts and is a means of earning the pleasure of Allah.