How can I allow personal style without funding unsafe trends? 

Parenting Perspective 

When it comes to personal style, it is important to support your child’s natural desire for self-expression, while also ensuring that they make safe and responsible choices. The goal is to allow your child to feel confident in their appearance, while also teaching them about the potential consequences of following trends that may not be appropriate. By fostering an open conversation about personal style and the reasons behind certain family values, you can help them to make wise decisions. 

Encourage Self-Expression Within Clear Boundaries 

You can start by acknowledging your child’s desire to express their personal style. You could say, ‘I understand that you want to express yourself through your clothes, and that is a wonderful thing. However, as a family, we need to make sure that the trends you follow are safe and appropriate for you.’ This helps your child to feel that their desire is understood, while also gently setting the necessary boundaries around their safety. 

Set Clear Guidelines on What Is Acceptable 

Explain which trends are acceptable within your family’s values, and why certain trends may not be suitable. A simple statement like, ‘There are some trends that might look fun, but they may not be the safest or most appropriate. Let us find a way for you to express your own unique style within our family guidelines,’ allows for personal expression while keeping the important values of safety and modesty in mind. 

Focus on the Positive Aspects of Safe Trends 

Help your child to see that their personal style does not have to be risky in order to be fashionable. You could say, ‘There are so many wonderful ways to be stylish without compromising on your safety. Let us explore some options together that are both fashionable and safe for you.’ This encourages their creativity while reinforcing their positive choices. 

Teach Moderation and Wisdom in Fashion 

Encourage them to make thoughtful choices and to consider the long-term impact of the trends they follow. ‘It is important to stay true to your own style, but we should also think about how long these trends will last and whether they truly reflect the person we want to be.’ This encourages a sense of moderation and wisdom in their fashion choices and helps to build a sense of identity that is not dependent on the approval of others. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, moderation and wisdom are highly emphasised in all aspects of our lives, including our personal sartorial choices. The values of safety and responsibility in what we wear align very closely with Islamic principles. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Araf (7), Verses 31: 

‘O Children of Adam, take your adornment at every masjid, and eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He does not like those who commit excess…’ 

This verse reminds us to avoid excess in all aspects of our life, including how we choose to dress. By teaching your child to express themselves without following unsafe or extreme trends, you are helping to foster in them a mindset of moderation and wisdom, which is in line with these beautiful Islamic teachings. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3607, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever wears a garment of pride in this world, Allah will clothe him in a garment of humiliation on the Day of Resurrection…’ 

This hadith highlights the great importance of humility and of making thoughtful choices in our clothing. It reinforces the idea that our personal style should be an expression of who we truly are, not just a way of following fleeting or harmful trends.