What can I do if my child struggles to keep up during sports day? 

Parenting Perspective 

Sports day can be an exciting event for many children, yet for some, it quickly becomes a highly stressful experience. When a child struggles to keep pace with their peers, they may become embarrassed, anxious, or even completely lose interest in participating. Parents often feel a dilemma between wanting to encourage their child and worrying about how being slower or less skilled might negatively affect their self-confidence. Addressing this situation requires immense sensitivity, constant reassurance, and a clear focus on building resilience rather than simple competition. 

Acknowledge Feelings Gently 

The first and most critical step is to validate the child’s expressed feelings. If they return home upset, stating, ‘I was the slowest,’ it is vital not to dismiss their worry with superficial comments such as, ‘It does not matter.’ Instead, listen attentively and calmly acknowledge their emotions. Saying, ‘I understand you felt sad when you could not keep up, but I am proud of you for finishing the race,’ reassures them that their persistent effort matters much more than the ultimate result. 

Highlight Effort Over Placement 

Children often quickly internalise the belief that winning is the sole measure of success. Parents must intentionally shift this perspective by sincerely praising persistence and sincere effort. A simple, meaningful comment such as, ‘You did your best and that makes me happy,’ teaches them that genuine success is found in sincerely trying, not necessarily in finishing first. This constructive mindset successfully nurtures resilience and prevents the corrosive development of feelings of inferiority. 

Collaborate with Teachers 

If the struggle during physical activities is persistent, it is helpful and constructive to discuss the matter with the child’s teachers. The conversation should be cooperative, not confrontational. Asking, ‘Could you suggest ways we can support my child’s confidence on sports day?’ opens the door to collaborative solutions. Teachers may be able to recommend specific strategies, such as using modified activities, organising paired races, or focusing on events that allow children to shine in different ways, such as throwing games or inclusive team relays. 

Explore Personal Strengths 

Not every child is destined to excel at running, but they may possess other notable physical or creative strengths. Parents should guide their child to discover genuine joy in alternative activities like cycling, skipping, swimming, or dance. This holistic approach helps them realise that even if they struggle in one area, such as on sports day, they still possess a range of valuable abilities. Celebrating these unique achievements at home significantly reduces the emotional weight of comparison with peers. 

Teach the Value of Personal Progress 

Parents can set small, achievable goals that effectively encourage children to compete against their own previous best rather than against others. For example, the goal could be aiming to run a specific distance without stopping, or meticulously shaving a few seconds off their personal timing record. When progress is measured strictly against one’s own effort, rather than against classmates, the child experiences a genuine boost in self-confidence and finds improvement inherently meaningful. 

Create a Supportive Environment 

At home, family members should strictly avoid any form of teasing and must, instead, celebrate sincere effort. Role-modelling is also immensely powerful. When parents enthusiastically engage in fun physical activities and visibly show enjoyment, rather than focusing solely on winning, children learn that the true purpose of movement is health, joy, and togetherness. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, effort and intention carry far greater weight than the final outcomes. Allah Almighty rewards sincerity and perseverance, even if the result achieved is not what we initially hoped for. Parents can use this fundamental principle to provide comfort to their child, gently reminding them that Allah values their effort more than whether they ultimately win or lose. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An Najm (53), Verse 39: 

‘And that there is not for man except that [good] for which he strives…’ 

This verse profoundly teaches that our true worth lies in our striving, not in the act of defeating others. Parents can explain to their child that when they run, even if they finish last, their sincere effort is still seen, recognised, and rewarded by Allah Almighty. What truly matters is doing their absolute best with unwavering sincerity. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 79, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than a weak believer, but there is good in both.’ 

This Hadith teaches us that physical strength is indeed beloved to Allah, but goodness remains in every believer, regardless of their current ability. Parents can remind their child that while being physically strong and active is valuable, their worth is never diminished if they struggle. What matters most is their goodness, their sincerity, and their continuous, steady effort. 

By listening with empathy, carefully focusing on effort rather than speed, proactively seeking constructive teacher support, and consistently reminding the child of enduring Islamic values, parents can successfully help their child view sports day not as a challenging test of worth but as a valuable opportunity to grow. Over time, the child will internalise the understanding that effort, resilience, and sincerity are far more important than medals or the fleeting joy of finishing first.