What can I do if they see maturity only as power? 

Parenting Perspective 

As children grow, many begin to equate maturity with power. They might believe that being older means having control over others, making decisions without guidance, or forcefully asserting their will. This perception is common, as physical growth brings a new sense of strength, and media often glorifies power as dominance. However, if this view is left uncorrected, children may develop arrogance instead of humility and a sense of entitlement instead of a desire to serve. 

Parents have the delicate but crucial role of reframing this perception. It is essential to teach that maturity is not the ability to overpower others, but the responsibility to guide, protect, and serve them. True maturity is found not in controlling others, but in controlling oneself. Guiding a child towards this understanding is vital for nurturing their character. 

Teaching Power as Responsibility 

A practical way to reshape their view is by connecting power directly to responsibility. For instance, when a teenager is trusted to stay out later, explain that this freedom is tied to the responsibility of being honest and punctual. When they receive an allowance, they must also demonstrate responsibility in how it is spent. By constantly linking authority with accountability, children learn that power is never separate from duty. 

Highlighting Service in Leadership 

Use practical examples of leaders who embody service rather than dominance. A family discussion could focus on a teacher who uses knowledge to uplift students, or a community volunteer who supports those in need. These examples demonstrate that true maturity is about being trusted, not feared. You can reinforce this lesson by saying: ‘Real maturity is when people feel safe and cared for by your strength, not when they feel diminished by it’. 

Guiding Emotional Self-Control 

Another vital step is to emphasise emotional discipline. A child who equates maturity with power may try to assert themselves through anger or stubbornness. Gently remind them that mastering one’s own temper is a far greater sign of strength than trying to control someone else. Providing opportunities for them to practise patience, forgiveness, and empathy builds the inner fortitude that defines true maturity. 

Modelling Humility at Home 

Children learn a great deal from observing how their parents use authority. If they witness power being used harshly or unfairly, they are likely to imitate that behaviour. Conversely, when they see parents exercise their authority with patience, kindness, and justice, they learn that maturity is defined by wisdom and humility, not dominance. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that all forms of power are a trust (amanah) from Allah Almighty. Strength, influence, and knowledge are not granted for pride or control, but for service and accountability. Parents can root this principle in their children’s hearts by reminding them that maturity is not an opportunity to feel superior, but a test of how well they fulfil their responsibilities before Allah. 

It is important to explain to children that Allah does not measure maturity by physical size or worldly influence. Instead, He measures it by taqwa (God-consciousness), humility, and a sense of duty. This helps them understand that their growth is for greater obedience, not greater pride. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verses 13: 

‘Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted…’ 

This verse fundamentally shifts the definition of maturity from power to righteousness. Parents can explain: ‘Allah does not honour someone for their physical strength, but for their taqwa. If you want to be truly mature in His eyes, you must strive to serve Him and treat people with kindness’. This perspective teaches that true nobility comes from righteousness, not dominance. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1829, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every one of you is a shepherd and every one of you will be asked about his flock.’ 

This Hadith expands the meaning of maturity into accountability. It shows that every position of influence, whether over oneself or others, comes with profound responsibility. Parents can explain to their children: ‘Maturity does not mean power without limits. It means that Allah will ask how you cared for what was entrusted to you’. This teaching helps children realise that maturity is a test of stewardship, not a licence for domination. 

Together, the Quranic verse and the Hadith create a clear picture: Allah honours righteousness over power, and the Prophet defines leadership as accountability. This teaching helps children realise that viewing maturity only as power is incomplete. True maturity is about responsibility before Allah, humility towards people, and service to creation. 

When parents guide their children with these lessons, they cultivate a healthier understanding of growth. A child who learns that maturity means service will not misuse their strength to dominate others, but will use it to uplift them. They will carry their blessings with humility, seeing each stage of life not as an increase in power, but as an increase in their responsibility to Allah Almighty.