How do I stop teasing from harming their self-worth? 

Parenting Perspective 

Teasing, whether from peers, siblings, or even relatives, can chip away at a child’s confidence and sense of identity. The emotional core here is vulnerability; children feel exposed and judged, often internalising the remarks as truths about themselves. Helping them separate harmful words from their intrinsic worth is essential for preserving self esteem. 

Validating Feelings and Reframing Teasing 

Begin by validating their feelings: ‘I can see that those words hurt you. It is normal to feel upset when someone teases you.’ Recognition reassures children that their emotions are legitimate rather than a weakness. 

• Guide them to reframe the teasing as a reflection on the teaser, not on them: ‘Sometimes people tease because they do not understand or are unhappy themselves. It does not define who you are.’ 

• Parent scripts like ‘Let us take a deep breath together and remember what makes you strong and kind’ help children internalise resilience in the moment. 

Building Resilience and Dignity 

Encourage practical coping skills. Teach them to respond assertively but calmly, for example: ‘I do not like that comment; please stop.’ This empowers children to set boundaries without aggression. 

• Reinforce their identity through accomplishments and values rather than external opinions. 

• Celebrate small successes, acts of kindness, and effort to anchor self worth in their character and abilities.¹ 

• Model confidence and dignity in your interactions. Demonstrating composure, humour, or calm refusal when faced with judgement helps them learn healthy responses. 

Reinforce that their body, mind, and actions are gifts from Allah Almighty, and no teasing can diminish the value of what Allah has entrusted to them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that self worth is rooted in character, faith, and the gifts Allah Almighty bestows, not in others’ opinions.² Guiding children to recognise their divine value strengthens resilience against ridicule or harmful remarks. 

Worth is Measured by Righteousness 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verses 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another.³ Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted…’ 

This verse reminds children that nobility and worth are measured by righteousness, not by popularity, appearance, or what others say.⁴ Parents can gently explain that teasing cannot change the value Allah Almighty has placed in each individual. 

Focus on Character and Deeds 

It is recorded in Sahih  Muslim, Hadith 183a, that the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A person who guides someone to goodness will have a reward similar to the doer of the deed.’ 

This Hadith highlights that actions, intentions, and character are what truly matter in Islam. By focusing on kindness, effort, and personal growth, children learn that external ridicule does not define them. Phrases like ‘Your goodness and effort are what Allah sees, not their words’ help internalise this truth. 

When children understand that self worth comes from Allah Almighty and their own righteous actions, teasing loses its power. They develop a grounded sense of identity that honours their abilities and character rather than the opinions of others.