What can I do when others praise only size instead of health? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is common for relatives, neighbours, or even friends to comment on a child’s size or physical appearance. While such remarks are often made casually, children may internalise them and begin to see their worth tied only to size rather than overall health and wellbeing. As a parent, your role is to gently shift the focus away from appearance and towards strength, energy, and the blessings of good health. 

Reframing Home Conversations 

First, reframe the conversation at home. Instead of repeating external remarks like ‘You are so big now’ or ‘Look how tiny you are’, highlight qualities that celebrate the child’s energy and abilities: 

• ‘You run so fast.’ 

• ‘Your body is strong to climb that.’ 

• ‘You are healthy because you eat well.’ 

This helps the child understand that the body’s value lies not in its size but in its function. 

Redirecting External Comments 

When others make comments about size, you can gently redirect the praise. If someone says, ‘She is getting so fat’ or ‘He is too thin’, respond with: ‘Alhamdulillah, she is active and healthy, and that is what matters most.’ This way, you protect your child from feeling defined by others’ labels while teaching them to value health as Allah’s true gift. 

Discussing Health as a Gift 

It is also vital to discuss openly with your child. If they notice or feel hurt by remarks, reassure them that every body grows at its own pace. You might say, ‘Allah made you just right for your journey, and health is about feeling strong and having energy, not about being bigger or smaller.’ Such affirmations build resilience against external judgments. In practice, you can also celebrate real signs of health, such as sleeping well, having stamina to play, or enjoying wholesome food. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings remind us that true value does not lie in physical form but in the strength of faith, gratitude, and righteousness. Allah created each human being with care, and our responsibility is to protect and respect the trust of our body, not to chase others’ approval. 

Created in the Best Stature 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah At Tin (95), Verses 4: 

‘Indeed, We created man in the best of stature…’ 

This verse can be explained to your child as a reassurance that Allah made every person in a way that is best for them. It shifts the focus away from comparison and size, reminding them that their body is a sign of Allah’s perfect creation. You can tell them: ‘Allah made you exactly as He wanted, and that makes you special.’ 

The Value of Heart and Deeds 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564c, that the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah does not look at your appearance or your wealth, but He looks at your hearts and your deeds.’ 

This Hadith is a powerful tool to teach children that while people may comment on size, Allah values what lies within the purity of the heart and the goodness of actions. 

By weaving these reminders into daily life, parents can protect their children from the harm of external labels. When others focus on size, you can redirect the narrative to gratitude, health, and inner worth.