What can I do to remind my child that Allah rewards patience in this transition? 

Parenting Perspective 

Puberty is a stage that feels filled with constant waiting waiting for emotions to settle, for confidence to grow, and for understanding to finally arrive. Many children feel deeply frustrated by these slow changes and may question why things must be so confusing or difficult. Your role as a parent is to help them see that patience is not mere endurance, but faith in action. Allah Almighty does not overlook their effort to stay calm or kind; every single moment of self-control, every confusion managed, or every feeling handled with grace is recorded and richly rewarded. 

Begin with Empathy 

Start by validating their internal struggle. Say to your child, ‘I know it feels uncomfortable when you sometimes do not recognise your own feelings or body anymore. It is perfectly okay to feel unsure. Even this moment of struggle is part of the process of learning who you are.’ Recognising their discomfort immediately builds safety and trust, making it easier for them to receive spiritual reassurance. 

Explain Patience as Strength, Not Silence 

Children often confuse patience (sabr) with passively doing nothing or simply keeping quiet. Explain that true patience is actively choosing calm over panic and perseverance over giving up. Say, ‘Being patient means trusting that Allah Almighty is guiding your change, even when you cannot see the end result or the path right now.’ This gives them an active and empowered way to understand sabr. 

Help Them Notice Progress 

Encourage your child to consciously reflect on how they have already grown and matured. Say, ‘Do you remember when you used to get upset much more easily about small things? Look at how calmly you handle things now that incredible strength is patience taking root.’ Showing them visible, past growth strengthens their present belief that Allah Almighty’s process works slowly but surely. 

• Introduce small habits that build patience: Encourage simple practices that train emotional steadiness, such as pausing before reacting, taking three deep breaths, or quietly saying, ‘Ya Saboor (O Patient One)’ during moments of frustration. Say, ‘Every time you stop and consciously breathe instead of snapping, you are actively earning reward.’ Making patience a tangible action helps them feel empowered, not trapped. 

• Share hopeful stories: Tell stories from the life of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ or other figures that show patience leading to eventual honour and success. Relating examples of endurance and calm through struggle allows children to see patience as a noble, powerful trait, not a passive one. 

• Model patience in your own reactions: Children are highly attuned to how parents respond to difficulty. When you stay composed during stress, express gratitude, and say, ‘I trust Allah’s timing and plan,’ you teach more powerfully than any formal lecture could. Your calmness becomes their reliable reassurance. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam profoundly honours patience (sabr) as one of the most beloved traits in the sight of Allah Almighty. Puberty, with all its internal changes and confusions, is one of the very best times for a young person to practise sabr trusting Allah’s perfect timing and His constant mercy when life feels the most uncertain. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Az Zumar (39), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account…’ 

You can explain it to your child by saying, ‘This means Allah Almighty does not set a limit on the reward for patience. Every time you consciously stay calm, pray through confusion, or choose kindness even when it is hard, you are earning reward beyond measure.’ This explanation transforms patience into hope, rather than a heavy burden. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5641, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.’ 

You can tell your child, ‘Even small struggles like feeling awkward, anxious, or momentarily left out can become blessings if you stay patient. Allah Almighty uses each small challenge to purify your heart and raise your spiritual rank.’ 

When children begin to see patience as a secure path to strength and immense reward, not just mere restraint, their entire perspective changes. Through your calm tone, encouraging reminders, and consistent example, they will come to view this transition as a significant opportunity to grow closer to Allah Almighty knowing that every moment of patience, no matter how small, is seen, cherished, and richly rewarded by Him.