What do I do when friends shame an older device? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be truly painful for a parent to watch their child feel embarrassed about using an older phone, tablet, or laptop. In a culture where technology often symbolises status and immediate success, children may face teasing or exclusion for not keeping up with every upgrade cycle. What hurts most is not the device itself, but the message such moments send; that worth depends on material possessions. Helping your child rise above that pressure requires genuine emotional validation, honest conversation, and gentle coaching in self-respect and confidence. 

Validate the Pain and Name the Feeling 

Begin by naming the feeling without judgement. You can say, ‘I understand why it genuinely stings when people make comments about your device. It feels unfair to be teased for something that should not define you.’ This powerful act of empathy allows your child to feel heard and validated instead of immediately dismissed. Once the emotion is acknowledged, you can gently explore the meaning of the comments. Ask, ‘Do you think your friends meant to hurt you, or are they just repeating what everyone seems to value right now?’ This opens a space for compassionate reflection instead of defensiveness or resentment. 

Separate the Product from the Person 

Teach your child the fundamental truth: to separate the product from the person. Explain, ‘A phone cannot possibly measure anyone’s intelligence, creativity, or kindness. People who laugh at others for what they own are actually showing their own deep insecurity, not your weakness.’ Reinforcing this truth helps them to swiftly shift any internal shame into a quiet, internal pride in their own maturity. 

Coach Calm and Confident Responses 

If your child faces consistent teasing, guide them to respond calmly and without hostility, rather than arguing or defending the device’s features, which can often escalate the situation. Encourage them to practice short, confident replies at home, such as, “It works perfectly fine for me, thanks,” “I prefer not to change what still works well,” or “I’d rather focus on what I can do with it than what it looks like.” These practiced phrases help your child display self-assurance while signaling clearly that the conversation is over, allowing them to maintain dignity and composure in social interactions. 

Focus on Purpose, Not Model 

Encourage your child to focus on how they use their device rather than what model it is. You can ask, ‘What useful things can we do with the gadget we already have; can we learn a new skill, design something, or use it to help someone online?’ Turning ownership into purpose restores dignity and makes the device’s age completely irrelevant. A powerful parent script is: ‘Someone else’s opinion about your phone does not reduce your value one bit. Stay kind, stay calm, and let your confidence speak louder than their comment.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches unequivocally that dignity is never tied to material things. The noble Quran and the Sunnah both emphasise that believers are valued for their humility, gratitude, and good character, not for their outward appearance or transient possessions. Guiding your child to stand firm with an older device, therefore, becomes more than an act of confidence; it becomes a spiritual exercise in sincerity and patience. 

Honour Comes from Righteousness 

The noble Quran beautifully redirects the universal measure of human worth away from the material world. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you…’ 

You can explain to your child: ‘Allah Almighty tells us clearly that honour does not come from wealth, looks, or possessions; it comes only from righteousness and good character (Taqwa). Your phone cannot raise or lower your ultimate value before Him.’ Framing the situation within this divine, unshakeable standard transforms temporary social embarrassment into a source of spiritual pride. 

The Prophetic teachings draw a crucial line between appreciating beauty and falling into arrogance (Kibr). 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 611, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah is beautiful and loves beauty. Pride is rejecting the truth and looking down on people.’ 

You can tell your child: ‘Islam teaches us to look presentable and appreciate nice things, but never to use our possessions to belittle others. When you stay humble and confident in your choices, you are closer to the kind of spiritual beauty that Allah Almighty loves.’ Encourage your child to internalize this strength. 

Remind them that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ lived a life of profound simplicity despite his status. When your child sees that humility mirrors true greatness, the emotional grip of peer opinion begins to quickly fade.