What do I say when a child refuses ‘last season’s’ trainers? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child refuses to wear last season’s trainers, their reaction is often driven by a powerful desire to fit in with their peers or by a belief that newer items are inherently better. The key to addressing this is to help them to understand that a person’s value does not come from having the newest or trendiest items. The goal is to foster a sense of self-worth that is not dependent on material possessions, while also teaching the value of sustainability and financial responsibility. 

Validate Their Desire for New Items 

It is important to start by acknowledging your child’s feelings and their desire to keep up with current trends. A simple statement like, ‘I can understand that you want new trainers to keep up with what is popular, and it is important to feel good about what you wear,’ can help them to feel heard, rather than dismissed. This opens the door for a more constructive conversation. 

Explain the Value of Sustainability 

Encourage your child to see their existing trainers as a sustainable and practical choice. You could say, ‘Your trainers from last season are still in excellent condition and are perfectly fine to wear. By reusing them, you are also helping to reduce waste and are taking care of the planet.’ This reframes the situation, showing them that their current shoes still have value and that wearing them is an environmentally responsible choice. 

Emphasise Contentment Over Materialism 

Help your child to understand that their true value comes from their abilities and their personality, not from constantly having new items. You can tell them, ‘It is not the trainers that make you special, but who you are and how you carry yourself. You can look just as good in last season’s shoes, because true style is about your attitude and your confidence.’ This helps to shift their focus away from materialism and towards intrinsic value and contentment. 

Offer a Balanced Approach to Future Purchases 

If your child is still hesitant, you can consider offering to invest in a new pair that fits the family’s budget, while still explaining the importance of careful and thoughtful spending. ‘If you really feel that you need new trainers, we can plan for them within our budget. But we must remember that we do not need to buy everything just because it is new.’ This teaches a child that while it is fine to update their wardrobe occasionally, our spending should always be thoughtful and within our limits. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, contentment with what we have and the avoidance of excess are highly valued virtues. The teachings of our faith encourage us to find happiness in simplicity and not to let materialism dictate our happiness. By teaching your child to appreciate their possessions, even if they are not the latest trend, you are helping to align them with the beautiful Islamic principles of gratitude, modesty, and financial responsibility. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah At Tawbah (9), Verses 24: 

‘Say, [O Muhammad], “If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained… are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger… then wait until Allah brings about His decision.”…’ 

This powerful verse reminds us of the importance of prioritising what truly matters, far beyond our material possessions. By teaching your child to value what they have, rather than focusing only on the latest trends, you can help them to cultivate a deeper sense of contentment. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6445, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Richness is not in having many possessions, but richness is being content with oneself…’ 

This hadith encourages us to exercise self-control and not to let our material desires or the opinions of others define us. By helping your child to understand the value of being content with their current trainers, you are teaching them to find strength in simplicity and to appreciate the many blessings they already have.