How much pocket money suits different ages without feeding rivalry? 

Parenting Perspective 

When giving pocket money, a key challenge is ensuring the amounts feel fair to siblings while accounting for their different ages and responsibilities. Children naturally compare their allowances, which can lead to rivalry if one sibling receives more. At the same time, it is important to adjust pocket money to match a child’s age and maturity, making it a fair and beneficial tool for their development. As a parent, the goal is to set an allowance that feels just, encourages responsibility, and discourages unhealthy competition. 

Acknowledge the Desire for Fairness 

Begin by recognising the feelings that arise when siblings compare their pocket money. ‘I understand you want to ensure everything feels fair. Let us talk about how we can make sure everyone gets what is appropriate, even if the amounts are different’. This validates their emotional response and sets the tone for a calm and thoughtful conversation. 

Base Allowances on Age and Responsibility 

A fair system bases allowances on a child’s age, needs, and ability to manage money. As children get older and their responsibilities increase, so should their allowance. You can explain, ‘As you get older, you will be trusted with more money because you will also have more responsibility. For now, your pocket money is suitable for your age and what you can manage’. This helps children understand that the allowance is not just about equal amounts, but about readiness to handle financial responsibility. 

Emphasise Financial Education, Not Competition 

Encourage your children to view pocket money as a tool for learning about finances, not a prize to be compared. You might say, ‘This money is for you to learn how to save, spend wisely, and make decisions. It is not about who gets the most, but about how well you manage what you have been given’. By framing the allowance as a tool for learning, you can reduce rivalry and foster a more positive approach to money management. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, fairness and responsibility are essential values. Allah Almighty encourages us to be just in all things, including how we distribute resources. The goal is not to treat everyone identically but to ensure each child receives what is appropriate for their age and abilities. The Islamic principle of fairness is rooted in justice and wisdom, teaching us to give according to individual needs and capacities. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.’ 

This verse serves as a powerful reminder that fairness is about giving each individual what is right for them. When applying this principle to allowances, it helps to recognise that each child’s ability to handle money differs according to their maturity. The allowance given should be proportionate to their capacity to manage it responsibly, in line with divine guidance. 

It is recorded in Mishkaat Al-Masabeeh, Hadith 3019, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’ 

This hadith reinforces the concept of fairness in distributing resources. By adjusting allowances according to age and responsibility, you are practising justice, ensuring that each child receives what is appropriate for them without feeding rivalry. It also supports the idea that fairness is not about giving everyone the same amount, but ensuring each person is treated justly. 

Through this approach, you help your children develop a balanced understanding of money and responsibility, teaching them the value of fairness and the wisdom of giving according to need. This aligns with the Islamic principle of justice and equity in all aspects of life.