What stories can show that love stays the same even when rules differ?

Posted October 23, 2025 Updated May 5, 2026

Parenting Perspective

It is not uncommon for children to mistake an act of discipline for a sign of rejection, especially when the rules seem to vary slightly between their two parents. They may begin to think, ‘Mummy is stricter with me, so she must love me less,’ or, ‘Daddy is more lenient, so he must love me more.’ Stories can be a powerful way to help your child understand that while the form of our rules may sometimes differ, the love behind them is constant and unconditional. These narratives can offer them the reassurance that your discipline flows from a place of deep care, not from a withdrawal of your affection.

You can share stories from your own life, about times when your grandparents or other relatives had different household rules, but still showed their love in their own unique ways. For example, you could say, ‘My grandmother made us do chores every day, while my grandfather would let us rest more, but they both wanted us to grow up to be responsible and caring people.’

Use Examples from Sibling Relationships

You can point out how your own children may sometimes be treated differently according to their age or their level of responsibility. You can explain that while rules might sometimes adapt to a particular child’s needs, the love you feel for each of them always remains steady.

Explain how the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ showed his deep love for all of his companions, even though the guidance he gave them would sometimes differ depending on their individual needs. For instance, he gave personal and tailored advice to each of his companions based on their unique strengths, yet his affection for all of them was constant.

Use Simple, Everyday Analogies

A simple, relatable example can be very effective. You might say, ‘When you are feeling unwell, we give you medicine and make sure you get extra rest. When you are healthy, we let you play outside. The rules might change depending on the situation, but our love for you never, ever changes.’

Through these kinds of stories and analogies, children can learn that your rules are simply tools that are designed for their growth, while your love for them is the constant and unchanging foundation of their lives.

Spiritual Insight

The Unchanging Nature of Divine Mercy

Islam teaches us that the mercy and love of Allah for His servants remain constant, even though His guidance and the tests He sends may differ according to each person’s individual situation. This divine truth can be mirrored in our own parenting.

Mercy as an Unchanging Decree

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al An’aam (6), Verses 54:

‘And when those people who are true believers in Our Signs come to you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ), so then say: “Peace be upon you, your Sustainer has prescribed upon himself, (to show you his) utmost mercy…”.’

This verse reminds us that mercy is an unchanging and absolute decree of Allah, even though the rules and the tests that we face may differ from person to person.

Differing Tests as a Sign of Divine Care

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2768, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

‘When Allah loves a servant, He tests him.’

This hadith teaches us that facing different tests or rules does not mean that we are loved any less by Allah. In fact, these tests are often a sign of His specific care and attention towards our growth. By sharing stories from your own family life, from the lives of the companions, and from the divine guidance of the Quran, you can show your child that your love for them is not measured by the rules you set. Instead, they will learn that your love is steady and unconditional, and that the rules you set are simply a way of nurturing their growth. This can help them to feel secure, knowing that the love of their parents is a reflection of the enduring mercy of Allah.