Parenting Perspective 

Explain Your Values Calmly 

When relatives push outdated gender expectations, it is important to respond with kindness and patience, while also reinforcing your values and your child’s understanding of fairness and equality. You can start by calmly explaining that you believe in raising your child in a way that respects their individuality and their responsibilities, regardless of traditional gender roles. For example, you could say, ‘I understand that you have a different perspective on gender roles, but in our home, we encourage equal responsibilities for both boys and girls.’ 

Respond Assertively 

It is important to respond respectfully, but assertively, when relatives impose these outdated norms. You can explain that while you value cultural traditions, Islam provides a framework that encourages mutual respect and fairness between genders. ‘In Islam, men and women are both encouraged to contribute to family life, and we believe in raising our children to understand the importance of sharing responsibilities.’ 

Show Empathy 

While you are maintaining your own values, it is a good idea to show empathy for the relative’s perspective. You can acknowledge their intention but gently steer the conversation back to your own values. ‘I understand that you have a different view that is based on your own experiences, but we are trying to teach our children that equality and respect for all people are core principles of Islam.’ By involving your child in these conversations, if it is needed, you can guide them on how to stand by what they believe in, without disrespecting others. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, gender equality is a fundamental value, and both men and women have equal worth in the eyes of Allah. Allah Almighty reminds us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous; indeed, Allah (Almighty) is the Omniscient, the all Cognisant.’ 

This verse teaches us that what truly matters is righteousness and piety, not our gender, race, or social status. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also modelled respect and equality between genders in his teachings and his actions. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith reinforces that the value of a person’s actions is not based on their gender but on how they contribute to their family and to society. By responding kindly and confidently to relatives who push outdated gender expectations, you are teaching your child the Islamic values of respect, equality, and the importance of individual roles, regardless of societal gender norms.