Parenting Perspective 

When friends complain that your child is taking over their toys, the root issue is rarely pure selfishness. It is often a result of anxiety, excitement, or the need to feel in control. Some children may fear losing access to a toy, while others simply struggle with turn-taking when they are overstimulated. It is important to start by acknowledging this calmly rather than shaming them. You can say, ‘It looks like you really wanted that toy. Let us learn how to wait for our turn’. This approach helps your child feel understood instead of scolded. 

Model emotional regulation through your tone and body language. Avoid lecturing in front of other children; if possible, correct the behaviour privately. Then, guide your child through restitution in real-time by having them return the toy, offer it back, or invite their friend to choose the next one. These small acts of repair help to build empathy and restore social trust. 

At home, you can rehearse playdate manners using role-play. Act out borrowing and returning items, and praise their effort: ‘You waited patiently, that was very kind’. Practise using fair phrases like, ‘Can I have a turn when you are done?’ or ‘Let us play together’. Children who have these scripts ready are far less likely to grab things impulsively in the moment. 

Before guests arrive, set a few visual boundaries. Pick a few “special” toys to put away and a selection that can be shared. Tell your child, ‘These toys are for everyone to play with, and these are for safekeeping’. This can prevent possessiveness while still giving them a sense of control. During playdates, stay nearby at first to help redirect their energy before conflicts escalate. 

Afterwards, talk privately about what went well. You could ask, ‘What part felt hard to share today?’. Affirm any improvements, even small steps. Repetition and calm follow-through matter more than punishment. Over time, your child will learn that generosity brings joy and keeps friendships strong, a lesson that will serve them far beyond childhood. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that sharing is not only a social virtue but also a path to spiritual growth. True generosity comes from recognising that everything we own is a gift from Allah Almighty and that fairness is a part of faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hashar (59), Verse 9: 

‘…And giving preference over themselves, even though they were impecunious themselves; and whoever is salvaged from (the inherent state of) being miserly for himself, then they are the victorious.’ 

This verse praises those who overcome possessiveness. When a child learns to share toys gladly, they are practising this inner generosity, freeing themselves from greed and learning that happiness grows when things are shared. Teach your child that every time they let another child play first, they earn an unseen reward and build a sense of kindness that Allah Almighty loves. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 13, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself’. 

This timeless teaching directly links faith (Imaan) with empathy. You can explain to your child, ‘When you share, you are showing your faith in action. You are saying, “I want my friend to be happy too”’. Use this Hadith as a gentle reminder that faith is lived not only in prayer or supplication, but also in the small moments when we choose kindness over control. 

End each playdate with a moment of reflection. Ask your child to name one toy they shared happily. Frame this as an act of gratitude: ‘Allah gave you plenty, and you shared a little of it today’. This practice helps to build both empathy and contentment. Over time, your child will realise that sharing does not diminish joy, it multiplies it.