How do I prepare my child to respect classmates’ desks and supplies? 

Parenting Perspective 

Preparing a child to respect the belongings of their classmates is a fundamental lesson in empathy, boundaries, and personal responsibility. This training begins at home by framing respect as a form of care and maturity, which can then be applied in the school environment. 

Connect Respect with Empathy 

Children often touch or borrow others’ supplies impulsively because they have not yet developed an understanding of how these actions affect another person. Begin with empathy before giving instructions. Ask your child, ‘Imagine you worked hard to arrange your desk and someone moved your pencils without asking. How would that feel?’ When children can connect to the feelings of others, their self-restraint grows naturally. Avoid lengthy lectures or threats of punishment; instead, frame respect as a positive way to show kindness and maturity. 

Establish the ‘Ask, Use, Return’ Rule 

Teach a simple, three-step rule for all shared or borrowed items that is easy for a child to remember and practise. 

• Ask: ‘May I borrow your eraser?’ 

• Use Carefully: Handle the item with the same gentleness you would for your own things. 

• Return: ‘Here you are, I have finished using it. Thank you.’ 

Role-play this sequence at home with family items. Praise every attempt, not just perfect execution: ‘You remembered to ask before taking the scissors, that shows great respect.’ When these routines are practised in calm moments, they are more likely to become automatic in the classroom. 

Build Responsibility Through Ownership 

Provide your child with their own labelled box of supplies and explain that taking good care of their own things builds credibility with classmates. Establish a rule that lost or broken items must be replaced or repaired through a small contribution from them, such as by doing a chore, using their allowance, or helping you restock. When children understand the cost of carelessness, they begin to value the possessions of others as well. Teach them that borrowing is a privilege, not a right. 

Teach Respect for Personal Space 

Respect also involves protecting boundaries that are not tangible. Explain that a classmate’s desk is like their ‘mini home’ at school and deserves privacy and order. Rehearse respectful distance by teaching them to stand beside a desk, not over it, and to wait until they are invited before touching anything. Encourage them to compliment neatness rather than disturb it: ‘Your desk looks so organised, I like how you did that.’ This reinforces appreciation instead of intrusion. 

Partner with Teachers and Model at Home 

Inform your child’s teacher that you are emphasising courtesy regarding belongings so that they can use similar language in the classroom. At home, model this behaviour visibly: gently fold others’ laundry, knock before entering a sibling’s room, and always ask before borrowing an item. When children see their parents practising these small acts of consideration, they internalise that respect is a way of life, not just a school rule. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam connects the respect for property directly to faith. Every belonging, whether it is ours or someone else’s, is considered a trust from Allah Almighty, and nurturing this understanding in children builds their conscience from a young age. 

Teach Amanah: Honouring Trust in Small Things 

Every item, from a pencil to a notebook, is a form of amanah (trust). Teaching children to protect what belongs to others is a practical application of this important Islamic principle. Remind them that barakah (blessing) is found where care and honesty are present. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verses 27: 

‘ O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you, whilst you know (the consequences of such actions).’ 

This verse expands the concept of trust beyond wealth to include words, promises, and even small responsibilities. A classmate’s desk or pencil is a form of trust. When your child asks before borrowing, uses an item gently, and returns it promptly, they are fulfilling this verse in their actions. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A believer is one from whom people’s lives and wealth are safe.’ 

This hadith captures the essence of Islamic character, which is that others should feel safe in your presence. Applying this to school life means striving to be the student whose classmates never worry about their desks or belongings being disturbed. This is an act of faith, not just good etiquette. Encourage your child to learn that true respect is quiet, consistent, and sincere, honouring both people and their possessions.