What should I say when a teen rejects praise as ‘cringe’? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a teenager dismisses your praise with a word like ‘cringe,’ it is important not to take it as a personal rejection. This reaction is often a signal of their internal world, not a reflection of their love for you. 

Acknowledge the Discomfort, Not the Rejection 

A teenager’s discomfort with praise usually stems from their heightened self-consciousness and a strong desire for independence. Open recognition, especially if it feels exaggerated or is delivered publicly, can be genuinely embarrassing for them. Understanding this allows you to look past the word ‘cringe’ and focus on adapting your method of encouragement so that it remains meaningful. 

Adjust Your Approach to Their Stage 

Effective praise for a teenager is often subtle, specific, and sincere. A quiet, private comment such as, ‘I noticed how calmly you handled that situation, well done,’ carries more weight than an over-the-top compliment. Tone and timing are crucial; private encouragement is almost always better received. It is also wise to avoid using sarcasm or humour that could undermine the praise, as this may reinforce their discomfort rather than build trust. 

Show Recognition Through Trust 

For many teenagers, being treated as a capable and respected individual is the highest form of praise. Instead of relying only on words, show recognition through trust. You can do this by allowing them to make more of their own decisions, giving them personal space, or seriously considering their opinion in family discussions. This approach communicates deep respect for their maturity, which often matters more to them than direct compliments. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that words have a profound effect on the heart and that true wisdom lies in knowing how and when to speak. Encouragement should always uplift while preserving dignity. 

The Wisdom of Choosing Words Carefully 

A teenager rejecting praise does not mean they do not need encouragement; it means the encouragement must be delivered with greater subtlety and respect for their sense of self. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ibraheem (14), Verses 24: 

‘Have you not observed how Allah (Almighty) presents the example of the ‘words of purity’; they are like the untainted tree, that is rooted firmly, and its branches (tower towards) the sky.’ 

This beautiful verse reminds us of those words, when chosen and delivered wisely, can plant strength and resilience deep in a person’s heart, helping them grow. 

Encouragement Rooted in Gentleness 

The prophetic way is to approach all matters with gentleness, as this makes the truth easier to accept. This principle is especially relevant when encouraging someone who is sensitive to praise. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3689, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed, Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in all matters.’ 

By offering praise in a gentle and respectful manner, you ensure it can be received by your teenager without embarrassment, fulfilling the spirit of this teaching. Recognising their sensitivity and adjusting how you deliver praise transforms potentially awkward moments into opportunities to affirm their growth while preserving their dignity.