What can I say instead of “good job” so praise feels specific and sincere? 

Parenting Perspective 

Generic praise, such as the phrase ‘good job’, can quickly become meaningless to a child. Children benefit far more when parents highlight the specific reasons an action was valuable, which helps them connect the praise with genuine qualities and positive choices. 

Shift from Generic to Specific Praise 

Rather than using broad statements, describe precisely what you observed. For instance: 

• ‘I saw you gave your sister a turn; that was very kind.’ 

• ‘You stayed focused on your homework even when it was tricky. That shows great determination.’ 

• ‘I love how carefully you drew those lines in your picture.’ 

This approach affirms particular behaviours and teaches your child that their effort and character are more significant than a superficial label. 

Praise the Process, Not Just the Result 

Children develop resilience when they understand that their perseverance, honesty, or kindness are being recognised. Phrases such as, ‘You kept trying even when it was difficult’, reinforce these inner strengths. Over time, they will internalise these values, learning that genuine effort and sincerity hold more worth than shallow approval. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to appreciate and acknowledge goodness with sincerity, guiding us to offer praise in a way that helps children value the pleasure of Allah Almighty above all else. 

The Value of Sincere Effort 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verse 69: 

‘ And those people that endeavour (to please) Us (Allah Almighty); so, We (Allah Almighty) shall indeed, guide them (to those pathways) that lead to Us; and indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those who are benevolent (in their actions).‘ 

This verse reminds us that true worth lies in striving sincerely. Parents can help children connect their effort to the path of Allah Almighty by recognising and praising it with meaning. 

Gratitude as a Spiritual Duty 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2512, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever does not thank the people has not thanked Allah.’ 

This hadith highlights that gratitude is a spiritual duty. By sincerely appreciating your child’s patience, honesty, or compassion, you are not only thanking them but also modelling a form of gratitude that ultimately reflects Allah Almighty. In this way, praise becomes more than mere encouragement; it transforms into a tool for raising children who live with sincerity, humility, and faith.