What helps when one child follows the other around to restart the fight? 

Parenting Perspective 

When one child will not let an argument end, following the other, muttering comments, or reigniting the tension, it can feel relentless. You may manage to calm things down, only to find the fight starting all over again minutes later. This pattern usually stems from unresolved emotions and a need for control. The child who pursues the fight is not always trying to cause hurt; they are often struggling with their own frustration, jealousy, or a desire for attention. To truly stop the cycle, you need to teach them how to let go, calm down, and repair the relationship without reigniting the conflict. 

Understand the Need Driving the Pursuit 

The child who follows the other often feels unheard or wronged. They are seeking emotional closure, but they are doing so in the wrong way. You can gently ask them during a calm moment: 

‘When you go after your brother or sister again, what are you hoping will happen?’ 

You will often hear, ‘I want them to say sorry,’ or ‘I want them to get into trouble too.’ Naming this underlying need gives you a starting point for solving the problem. It shows that the behaviour comes from a place of hurt, not hatred. 

Intervene Early and Create Space 

When you see the pattern starting again, you should intervene early, without anger or judgement. 

‘You both need some space right now. You can stay here, and you can go there. We will talk about this when everyone is feeling calm.’ 

Physical separation is essential because proximity to one another can keep the emotional tension high. The key is to show calm authority, not to shout or make threats, but to have firm boundaries that protect the peace of your home. 

Teach Healthy Ways to Release Frustration 

Children who pursue a fight need to be taught alternative ways to release their frustration. Show them some options they can use when they are feeling angry. 

• Taking deep breaths or counting down from ten. 

• Writing or drawing about how they feel. 

• Telling a parent calmly how they feel, instead of pursuing the other child. 

Help them to rehearse these responses at a neutral time. Repetition builds self regulation much faster than scolding ever can. 

Spiritual Insight 

Sibling conflict is an age old challenge, yet Islam calls on families to rise above anger and rivalry. A child who pursues a fight is struggling with their nafs, the lower impulse that seeks dominance. Teaching them to walk away is teaching them taqwa, an awareness of Allah Almighty and a mastery over the self. 

Turning Away from Hostility in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Aa’raaf (7), Verse 199: 

‘(O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) adopt a forgiving approach, and encourage (the doing of) positive (moral) actions, and disregard those who are imbued in their ignorance.’ 

This verse captures the essence of a calm withdrawal, that walking away from provocation is not a weakness, but a strength. When you teach your child to step back instead of continuing a fight, you are nurturing in them the qualities of humility, restraint, and moral intelligence, all of which are beloved by Allah Almighty. 

The Reward of Calming Anger in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 245, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘If one of you becomes angry, let him remain silent.’ 

This Hadith offers a timeless key for de-escalation: silence in a moment of anger. Teaching your child to stop talking, to stop chasing, and to stop feeding the conflict reflects this prophetic wisdom. True strength lies in stillness, not in having the last word. 

When one child keeps following another to restart a fight, your calm and steady boundaries can teach them that peace is not something to be negotiated; it is something to be protected. By giving both children space, clear expectations, and the chance to repair their relationship, you can end the pattern of provocation. Spiritually, each calm intervention echoes the divine call to turn away from ignorance and toward goodness.