How do we repair if my child targeted someone’s faith, race, or body? 

Parenting Perspective 

Hearing that your child has mocked someone’s faith, race, or body can feel devastating. It challenges not only their behaviour but also the values you believed were firmly rooted in your home. This moment, however, is not beyond repair; it is a profound opportunity for moral education and for the rebuilding of character. Your goal is not to erase the shame, but to transform it into accountability, empathy, and genuine change. 

Responding with Calm and Seriousness 

You must begin by taking a steady breath. If you react with rage, your child is more likely to respond with denial or self-pity than with honest reflection. It is better to speak with a calm gravity: 

‘I know what you did, and we are going to deal with it seriously, not because you have embarrassed me, but because you have hurt another person’s dignity.’ 

This immediately reframes the issue. The harm is not about your family’s reputation; it is about another person’s humanity. 

Helping Them Face the Harm 

Ask your child to describe what they said or did. Listen to their full account, and then ask, ‘Why did you say that?’ and, ‘What do you think it felt like for them?’ If they respond defensively by saying, ‘It was just a joke,’ you must calmly clarify: ‘There is no joke in attacking a person’s identity. You have used words that go against everything we believe in.’ Your child needs to see the seriousness of their actions before they can feel remorse. 

Teaching the Concept of Dignity 

Children need to understand that every human being carries karamah, a divinely given dignity that must not be violated. You might say, ‘When you insulted that part of them, you were insulting what Allah Himself created with honour.’ This reframes the concept of respect as a spiritual duty, not just a matter of social politeness. 

Guiding a Sincere Apology and Restorative Action 

A simple ‘sorry’ is not enough; it must be accompanied by reflection. Help your child to craft an apology that names the harm they have caused: ‘I said something about your faith/appearance/race that was wrong and disrespectful. I understand that it hurt you, and I am truly sorry.’ 

If the school or the other family is involved, you must cooperate openly. Let your child take part in the process of accountability, whether that involves a written reflection, a service project, or a kindness initiative that helps to repair the trust of the community. When they ask, ‘Will people forgive me?’, you can say, ‘People may need time, but Allah forgives those who truly change. The best apology is a change in behaviour.’ 

Building Education Around Empathy 

Your conversation should not end with the apology. You must help your child to learn from their mistake by reading or watching stories about the community they have hurt, and by talking about the Prophet’s ﷺ compassion towards people of every background. An awareness of the impact of their words can transform their embarrassment into a genuine understanding. 

Your child’s wrongdoing does not define them; how they choose to repair it will. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam forbids mockery of any kind, but especially that which touches upon a person’s identity, creation, or faith. Every insult of this nature is an offence against the Creator Himself, who fashioned our diversity with wisdom. Yet, the mercy of Allah Almighty is vast, and when a person’s repentance is sincere, even a deep wrong can become a door to a moral awakening. 

The Equality of All Humans in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous…’ 

This verse teaches that our diversity is divinely intended, not to divide us, but to enrich our understanding of one another. Reminding your child of this verse can root their learning not in guilt, but in faith. It shows them that our differences are not a flaw; they are a part of Allah’s design. 

The Prophet’s ﷺ Condemnation of Prejudice 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3948, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who calls to tribalism. He is not one of us who fights for the sake of tribalism. He is not one of us who dies following the way of tribalism.’ 

This teaching shows that Islam rejects any form of superiority or mockery that is based on race, lineage, or identity. When your child learns that prejudice is a contradiction of faith itself, they will begin to understand that kindness is not optional; it is a form of obedience to Allah. 

When your child has targeted someone’s faith, race, or body, it can feel like a moral rupture, but it is also a turning point. Through calm accountability, education, and sincere repentance, you can help them to transform their guilt into growth. 

By showing them that dignity is sacred, you reconnect them with both their humanity and their faith. When they repair the harm they have caused with sincerity, that once-hurtful moment can become a lesson in humility, compassion, and the timeless truth that every person is honoured in the sight of Allah Almighty.