What can my child say when a teammate shouts “We do not want you” before kick-off? 

Parenting Perspective 

Few moments sting more deeply for a child than being publicly rejected by their own team. When a teammate shouts, “We do not want you,” it’s not just a game—it’s a blow to belonging, confidence, and courage. Your goal isn’t to make your child “toughen up,” but to help them stand firm in self-worth, respond calmly, and continue playing with dignity, even when others act unfairly. 

This situation isn’t only about football or sports—it’s about teaching the lifelong skill of staying composed and respectful under pressure. 

Begin with Calm Understanding 

After the match or practice, your child may say quietly, “They didn’t want me on their team.” Start with empathy, not advice: 

“That must have felt awful. You went there to play and be part of the team.” 

This validation helps your child release shame and opens the door to reflection. When they feel heard, they’re ready to learn how to respond next time. 

Explain What’s Really Happening 

Reframe the situation so they see the behaviour clearly: 

“Sometimes kids say hurtful things when they want to seem important in front of others. It doesn’t mean you don’t belong—it means they forgot how to lead kindly.” 

Understanding this removes the sting of personal rejection and replaces it with perspective. 

Teach Calm, Confident Words 

Coach your child to reply with short, steady phrases that neither argue nor submit. Practise at home so they can say it naturally: 

“That’s not kind. I’m still playing.” or “We’re all on the same team.” 

Then teach them to hold eye contact briefly, turn toward the game, and keep going. The message is clear: I belong here, even if you forget that. 

If the taunting continues, they can step back and calmly approach the coach: 

“They keep saying I can’t play. Can you help sort it out?” 

Reporting respectfully shows maturity, not weakness. 

Reinforce Resilience Through Reflection 

Afterward, highlight your child’s self-control rather than the other child’s behaviour: 

“You stayed calm and didn’t shout back—that’s real strength.” 

This anchors their confidence in how they handled themselves, not in how others treated them. 

Collaborate With Coaches When Needed 

If exclusion becomes a pattern, inform the coach privately and factually: 

“There’s been some name-calling before kick-off. I’d appreciate your help in setting a better tone.” 

This keeps accountability in the right place—on the team’s culture, not on your child’s shoulders. 

Teach Self-Respect Over Acceptance 

Remind your child that their value doesn’t depend on who picks them. You can say: 

“You’re valuable because of your effort, not their opinion.” 

Reinforce that belonging isn’t given—it’s lived through integrity, teamwork, and patience. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that dignity and respect are owed to every believer. When your child faces exclusion, they’re experiencing a small test of sabr (patience) and izzah (honour). The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ himself was turned away, mocked, and rejected by people—yet responded with composure, forgiveness, and strength. 

Dignity and Unity in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’ 

This verse reminds your child that teamwork and unity are acts of faith. When they reply calmly instead of retaliating, they protect the spirit of brotherhood that Allah Almighty commands. 

Calm Strength in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3688, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Verily, Allah is gentle and loves gentleness, and He gives through gentleness what He does not give through harshness.’ 

This Hadith teaches that gentle strength achieves what anger cannot. When your child answers exclusion with grace and composure, they are following prophetic gentleness—strength controlled by peace. 

When your child learns to face rejection with calm confidence, they gain something more valuable than inclusion—they gain self-respect. They begin to see that true belonging doesn’t come from loud acceptance but from quiet integrity. 

Through your guidance and reassurance, they’ll learn that the strongest players aren’t those who score the most—but those who play with character, patience, and faith. And in Allah Almighty’s sight, that grace under pressure is a victory far greater than any goal.