How can I help a child wait for the lift instead of racing up stairs? 

Parenting Perspective 

It may seem like such a small thing; you press the button for the lift, and before you can even say the word ‘wait’, your child has bolted up the stairs. By the time the lift arrives, you are left juggling feelings of worry and frustration, alongside a child who is proudly declaring their victory. This is not really about the stairs or the lift; it is about impulse control. Your child sees an opportunity for movement and acts on it before thinking. Helping them to learn to wait calmly in these situations is not about being overly strict; it is about teaching them patience, safety, and an awareness of others in shared public spaces. 

Explain the ‘Why’ Before You Ask Them to ‘Wait’ 

Children are always more likely to cooperate when they understand why a certain limit exists. Simply saying, ‘Do not run!’, can feel arbitrary to them. Instead, you can give them a simple and meaningful reason for the rule: ‘We need to wait for the lift together because it keeps everyone safe, and we always move together as a team.’ This helps to reframe the act of waiting as a form of teamwork, rather than as a restriction. When a rule feels purposeful, a child’s resistance to it will often soften. 

Create a Predictable Pre-Lift Routine 

Just like the routine for crossing the road, the act of waiting for a lift can have its own short ritual. Consistent cues can help to make the desired behaviour become automatic over time. 

• Press the button together. 

• Take two steps back from the doors and say, ‘Now we will wait.’ 

• You can encourage them to fold their hands or to hold onto the railing to help keep their bodies still. 

Turning this into a mini-routine gives their body something to do while they are waiting. It is much easier for a child to follow the instruction, ‘Step back and wait,’ than it is for them to follow, ‘Do not run off.’ You can even make it playful by turning it into a game: ‘Let us play the Still Statue Game. No moving until the lift doors open!’ 

Reinforce the Value of Waiting Patiently 

When the lift arrives and they have managed to wait patiently, it is important to immediately acknowledge their effort: ‘You waited so calmly just then. That shows great self-control.’ It is helpful to be specific with your praise, naming the skill rather than just the behaviour. Instead of a general, ‘Good job,’ you could say, ‘That was some strong waiting,’ or ‘You used your self-control so well.’ This helps your child to understand exactly what they did right and why it matters. 

Spiritual Insight 

The qualities of patience and self-control, even in the smallest of moments, are core virtues in Islam. The act of waiting for a lift may seem trivial, but it can be an early and important lesson in sabr, the discipline of holding back when the impulse is to rush forward. Every small act of restraint helps to shape a child’s character for the better. 

Small Acts of Patience Bring Great Rewards 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Asr (103), Verses 1–3: 

‘ By the (design of) time (by Allah Almighty); indeed, mankind shall surely (remain in a state of) deprivation (moral deficit), except for those people who are believers and undertake virtuous acts; and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and dissemination of) the truth and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and accomplishment of) resilience.‘ 

This reminds us that the quality of patience is not just reserved for times of great hardship; it is something that is woven into our everyday actions. Each time your child is able to wait quietly for the lift, they are practising a form of faith by choosing a sense of calmness over their initial impulse. 

Teaching Calmness Through Prophetic Example 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2012, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Calmness and patient deliberation are from Allah, while haste is from Shaytan.’ 

This hadith directly captures the essence of teaching a child to wait calmly instead of rushing ahead. It shows us that patience and composure are divine qualities, while impulsive rushing can lead to error and risk. It aligns beautifully with the message of practising self-control before we act. In these quiet, everyday lessons, you are building not just their manners but their character, teaching them that strength can often look like stillness, and that waiting with grace is a small act of worship in itself.