How do I get a child to start homework without 40 minutes of “in a minute”? 

Parenting Perspective 

Every parent knows that heart-sinking feeling: you ask your child to start their homework, and they reply with the classic, ‘In a minute.’ That single minute then stretches into forty, leaving you feeling frustrated, helpless, and perhaps even disrespected. However, beneath that resistance, there is usually something more subtle going on, a mixture of fatigue, distraction, or an anxiety about getting things wrong. Helping your child to start their homework on time is not about control; it is about creating a sense of structure, confidence, and connection. 

Understand What Lies Behind the Delay 

Children rarely procrastinate just to annoy us. Their delays often signal one of three things: 

• Overwhelm: The child does not know where or how to start. 

• Disinterest: The homework feels boring or meaningless to them. 

• Emotional resistance: They have come to associate homework with feelings of failure or stress. 

When you say, ‘Start your homework,’ your child might hear, ‘Prepare yourself for frustration.’ By recognising the emotion that lies beneath the behaviour, you can respond more effectively. Empathy does not excuse their avoidance, but it can help to disarm their defensiveness. 

Build a Consistent After-School Routine 

Children thrive on predictability. A consistent sequence of events after school, such as snack, then play, then homework, then dinner, helps to signal what is coming next without the need for constant arguments. A reliable homework rhythm can be built by choosing the right time, using visual cues like a chart, and giving a gentle five-minute warning to help their brain shift gears. The aim is not to eliminate their resistance entirely, but to make the act of starting predictable enough that the arguments fade with repetition. 

Make the Act of Starting as Easy as Possible 

Often, the hardest part of homework is not the work itself, but the simple act of starting. You can lower this barrier by shrinking the task in your child’s mind. 

• The Five-Minute Rule: You can say to your child, ‘Let us just work on it for five minutes.’ Most of the time, once they have begun, they will keep going. 

• Prepare the environment: Having pencils sharpened, a drink of water nearby, and other distractions put away before they sit down can make a significant difference. 

• Break tasks into micro-steps: Instead of a general instruction like, ‘Do your homework,’ you could try a more specific one, such as, ‘Let us write the title at the top of the page.’ 

You can even turn the act of starting into a short, shared ritual by sitting beside your child for the first two minutes, and then quietly stepping away once their momentum has started to build. 

Spiritual Insight 

The challenges of homework can test not just a child’s discipline, but also a parent’s sabr (patience). Islamic parenting reminds us that every act of guidance, even a simple reminder to a child to start their work, can be an act of worship if it is done with the right intention and a sincere heart. 

The Virtue of Patience in Guiding Our Children 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Asr (103), Verses 1–3: 

‘ By the (design of) time (by Allah Almighty); indeed, mankind shall surely (remain in a state of) deprivation (moral deficit), except for those people who are believers and undertake virtuous acts; and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and dissemination of) the truth and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and accomplishment of) resilience.‘ 

This reminds us that growth, guidance, and success can only come through belief, righteous action, truth, and patience. Parenting is precisely this: a daily practice of advising our children with both truth and patience, not with anger or haste. Each ‘in a minute’ moment is a test of our own character: will we react from a place of frustration, or will we model a sense of calm self-control? 

The Importance of Mercy Before Authority 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1919, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders.’ 

This teaches us that mercy should always precede the assertion of our authority. Being gentle does not mean being permissive; it means recognising our child’s emotional world while still guiding them firmly towards what is right. When you invite your child to begin their homework with understanding and a sense of calm, you are teaching them both responsibility and compassion. The aim is not blind obedience, but the cultivation of a self-discipline that is rooted in trust and respect. Your calm consistency today can become their inner voice of encouragement tomorrow, and that is the true success of Islamic parenting.