How do I handle a child who celebrates big hits more than good plays? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child cheers more loudly for a big hit than for a clean pass or a moment of teamwork, it is a sign that they are chasing an adrenaline rush more than a sense of mastery. Your goal is to help rewire what their brain labels as a “win” by celebrating control, skill, and care for others. 

Redefine What “Awesome” Means 

It is helpful to tell your child, ‘In our family, “awesome” means showing skill with care.’ Then, you can prove this with your own reactions. Cheer for precision, good timing, or helping another player up. If they boast about a big hit, you can calmly redirect them: ‘Strong contact is the easy part. Reading the game and protecting the other players is the hard part. That is what I am proud of.’ 

Create a Simple Scoring System 

You can create a simple tally card to keep in your pocket during practices or matches. 

• 1 point: A clean first touch, an accurate pass, or a safe stop near a boundary. 

• 2 points: A smart decision under pressure or pulling out of a risky collision. 

• 3 points: A visible act of sportsmanship, such as helping someone up or apologising quickly. 

At home, you can trade these points for small privileges. 

Name the Skill Behind the Thrill 

After a big collision, you can debrief the moment in a single sentence: ‘That hit happened because you were moving fast, but the real skill is in braking early and angling your body correctly.’ You can then offer one actionable cue for next time, such as, ‘Keep your hips low and your eyes up.’ 

Use a “Celebration Script” 

Practise some brief lines that your child can say after making contact with another player. 

• ‘My mistake. Are you okay?’ 

• ‘Next time, I will pull up sooner.’ 

• ‘That was a good play. Let us keep it clean.’ 

Create a Better Highlight Reel 

You can record short clips of your child’s smart actions on the field and replay those, rather than the big clashes. You could narrate them like a commentator: ‘Look at that scan of the field… the quick turn… the safe shield. That is elite-level thinking.’ 

Child: ‘Did you see that huge hit I made?’ 

Parent: ‘I did. But I am not clapping for the hits. I am clapping for the moment you checked your shoulder, cut the angle, and kept the other player safe. That is real captain energy.’ 

Partner with the Coach 

You can quietly ask the coach to also call out and reward safe decisions, such as pulling out of a late tackle or communicating well with teammates. If the general environment of the team only praises high impact, it might be worth having your child trial a different role that channels their intensity into skill, such as a defender focusing on body shape and interception. 

Spiritual Insight 

Sport is a training ground for our character. Islam teaches that strength without humility can become a source of harm, and that true excellence is always disciplined, fair, and gentle. 

Humility Over Hype 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verses 18–19: 

‘And do not turn your cheek from people (in pride and contempt), and do not walk on the Earth in self-glory; indeed, Allah (Almighty) does not love those (people who believe in) self-aggrandizement and boasting. And be modest in your attitude and lower your voice (in dealing with people)….’ 

This verse reminds us that boasting and swagger are not marks of honour. Moderation, self-control, and respectful conduct are the marks of a believer, even in moments of great excitement. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4895, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah has revealed to me that you should be humble so that no one boasts over another and no one wrongs another.’ 

This teaches us that any sense of victory without humility can easily slip into wrongdoing. The celebration of a believer should be one of gratitude and good manners, not gloating or glorifying harm. 

Teach your child to replace any chest-thumping with a simple expression of gratitude: a hand raised to the other player, or a quiet ‘Alhamdulillah’ for their strength and safety. You can make a short pre-game intention together: ‘O Allah, let my strength be used to protect others, and let my decisions be wise.’