What can I say when one child narrates the other’s mistakes out loud? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is very common for children to point out each other’s mistakes in a loud voice, such as exclaiming, ‘You have spilled your juice again!’ or ‘You forgot to do your homework!’ This often comes across as an act of shaming, even if the child believes they are simply ‘telling the truth.’ The problem is that a public narration of another’s mistakes can humiliate a sibling, damage the trust between them, and stir up feelings of rivalry. Instead, children need to be guided on how to express their concern without turning it into a public broadcast. 

Teach the Difference Between Help and Humiliation 

You can begin by explaining this distinction clearly. For example, “Telling everyone about your sibling’s mistake is not a helpful act; it just makes them feel small. True helping means showing them privately what they need to fix, or quietly offering your support.” This helps to frame the correction as an act of care rather than one of exposure. 

Provide Alternative, Supportive Scripts 

It is important to offer your children respectful replacements that shift their focus from shaming to supporting. 

• Instead of shouting, ‘You always spill your drink!’ they could learn to say, ‘Let me get you a napkin to help you with that.’ 

• Instead of announcing, ‘You forgot your homework again!’ they could offer, ‘Do you want me to help you remember it next time?’ 

By giving them these scripts, you are equipping them with language that communicates the same observation, but with kindness and a desire to help. 

Step In Calmly When It Happens 

When you witness one child narrating another’s mistake out loud, you can intervene with a short, simple cue, such as, “Let us try to be kind, or keep it private.” This helps to stop the behaviour without shaming the child who is doing the narrating. You can then follow up with a gentle correction: “If you see something that needs fixing, it is better to offer help instead of just pointing it out.” 

Reinforce Confidentiality and Respect 

You can encourage the idea that mistakes are not for public display. You might say to your children, “In this family, we always try to protect each other’s dignity. We do not announce each other’s mistakes; we try to help each other quietly.” Over time, your children will learn that showing respect means covering, not exposing, the weaknesses of those who are closest to them. 

A Mini-Dialogue Example 

Child A: ‘You have dropped your food on the floor again!’ 

Parent: ‘In our family, we do not announce each other’s mistakes. Can you offer to help instead?’ 

Child A: ‘Okay… here, I will get you a tissue for that.’ 

Parent: ‘That was very kind. Thank you for choosing to help, not to shame.’ 

This simple exchange helps to redirect the child towards empathy and support, and it shows both siblings that your family is a safe place to make mistakes. In short, when children narrate each other’s mistakes out loud, parents can teach them that true love means protecting their dignity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great deal of importance on guarding the dignity of other people and avoiding any form of public humiliation. This principle is especially important within the sacred bonds of the family. 

Protecting Others’ Dignity Is a Duty 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verses 19: 

‘Indeed, those people that like to propagate (false accusations of) immorality against those people who are believers; for them is a dreadful punishment in the worldly life and in the Hereafter…’ 

This verse warns us against the act of spreading the faults of others. While it refers specifically to serious sins, the underlying principle can be applied even in family life: publicising the mistakes of others, even small ones, is not the way of a believer. 

The Prophet’s Teaching on Concealing Faults 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ praised those who protect the dignity of others instead of exposing their faults. He taught that a believer should be a source of support for their brother or sister, not a source of exposure. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2442, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfil his needs.’ 

This Hadith emphasises the importance of protecting and supporting our siblings in faith. It teaches our children that instead of narrating each other’s mistakes publicly, they should be guarding their sibling’s dignity and offering them help when they need it. 

By connecting your correction to both family harmony and these core principles of your faith, you can help your children to understand that love means guarding another person’s dignity. Over time, they will learn that pointing out mistakes aloud is not a mark of cleverness but is instead a breach of trust, and that true strength lies in helping others quietly and with a gentleness that is pleasing to Allah Almighty.