How do I teach siblings to spot the line between humour and hurt? 

Parenting Perspective 

Explaining the Impact of Words 

Siblings often use humour to bond, but without guidance, it can easily turn into teasing that causes genuine hurt. Teaching them to recognise this line is all about building empathy and awareness. They must understand that humour should connect, not wound, and that laughter at someone’s expense can damage the trust between them. 

You can begin by explaining the impact of their words and tone. For example, you can say, “A joke is only funny if both people are laughing. If one person is upset, it is not humour anymore.” This helps them see that the other person’s feelings are what determine whether the comment was playful or hurtful. 

Encouraging a Pause 

You should teach your children to pause before making a joke and ask themselves, “Would I be okay if this was said to me?” If the answer is no, then it is likely crossing the line. Simple self-checks like this build crucial self-regulation skills. 

You should also praise respectful humour. When your children share jokes that bring everyone together, make sure to highlight it. You can say, “That was funny and kind. I liked how you included your brother without hurting him.” This positive reinforcement encourages them to use humour that bonds rather than divides. By practising these principles, children will learn the difference between laughter that strengthens family ties and remarks that weaken them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’ 

This verse reminds us that siblings are meant to protect and uplift one another, not cause pain through careless words. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 394, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not quarrel with your brother, do not joke excessively with him, and do not make a promise to him only to break it.’ 

This teaches us that even when joking, balance and respect are required to preserve the love between siblings. By showing your children where humour ends and hurt begins, you root their behaviour in both empathy and Islamic etiquette. They learn that jokes should bring joy, not pain, and that true siblinghood is built on kindness, mercy, and respect.