What Should They Say to Shut Down Unkind Comments in Group Chats? 

Parenting Perspective 

Digital group chats can be wonderful spaces for friendship and connection, but they can also quickly become environments where unkind jokes, teasing, or gossip can spread. In these situations, children often feel an intense pressure to either join in or stay silent, and they may struggle to find the right words to object. By teaching them how to use respectful but firm language to shut down unkindness, you empower them to become voices of kindness and fairness in their online worlds. 

Equip Them with Simple, Firm Phrases 

Provide your child with a toolkit of short, clear responses they can type without sounding overly aggressive or confrontational. You could suggest they use phrases like: 

• ‘That does not sound very fair.’ 

• ‘I think we should talk about something else now.’ 

• ‘I do not think that is a kind thing to say.’ 

• ‘How would you feel if someone said that about you?’ 

These simple phrases can effectively stop the negativity while maintaining a respectful tone. 

Teach the Power of Disengagement 

If the unkind comments continue despite their efforts, teach your child that it is perfectly acceptable to stop replying or to leave the chat altogether. Sometimes, the most powerful message you can send is to withdraw your attention and refuse to participate in the negativity. This is an act of strength, not weakness. 

Encourage Them to Offer Private Support 

Guide your child to reach out privately to the person who was the target of the unkind comments. A simple, supportive message like, ‘I saw that comment and I thought it was really unkind. I just wanted you to know that I am here for you,’ can be a lifeline for a friend who is feeling hurt and isolated. This shows them that true friendship means showing solidarity. 

Build Their Confidence Through Practice 

You can build your child’s courage for these challenging situations through role-play at home. You might say, ‘Let us imagine someone in the group chat said, “That was such a silly thing she did.” What is a brave and kind way you could respond?’ Practising a reply like, ‘Let us not make fun of her; everyone makes mistakes,’ helps to build their confidence for real-life scenarios. 

Acknowledge and Praise Their Courage 

When your child tells you that they spoke up to defend a friend or shut down an unkind comment, highlight their bravery. You could say, ‘I am so proud of you for standing up for your friend today. That showed real strength of character and kindness.’ This positive reinforcement helps to strengthen their sense of integrity. 

By giving your child these practical words and strategies, you are equipping them to protect the spirit of kindness in their group chats without resorting to fear or hostility. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam strictly forbids mockery, gossip, and any form of harmful speech, and reminds believers that they have a duty to use their words for goodness and to stand up against wrongdoing. The act of shutting down an unkind comment is not merely a matter of social courtesy; it is a profound act of worship. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…’ 

This verse is a direct reminder that mocking others is against the dignity of faith. When a child offers a kind and gentle reminder to their friends not to engage in ridicule, they are helping to stop a harm before it can spread. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 48, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent.’ 

This foundational hadith teaches us that our speech must always be beneficial. For a child in a group chat, this is a clear and simple guide: they must either choose to use kind and helpful words, or to remain silent and refuse to participate in spreading harm. 

When your child learns to shut down unkind comments with respectful but firm words, they are practising the virtues of courage, mercy, and faith. These small but significant acts of digital integrity help to build them into protectors of dignity, spreading kindness and goodness wherever their words may reach.