How Do I Show Them the Value of Offering a Seat to an Older Person? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children do not always instinctively think about giving up their seat to someone older. They often view a comfortable seat as something they have earned or claimed, not as an opportunity to show respect and care. Teaching them this important courtesy is a way of instilling empathy and responsibility, helping them to understand that a small, personal sacrifice can bring great comfort and dignity to another person. 

Explain the ‘Why’ Behind the Courtesy 

Help your child to see beyond the simple rule by explaining the meaning behind the action. You could say, ‘When we give our seat to someone older, it is a way of showing them our respect and helping to make them comfortable. It is a small act of kindness that has a very big value.’ When children understand the ‘why’, the action becomes a meaningful expression of care. 

Lead by Your Own Sincere Example 

The most powerful lessons are taught through demonstration. In real-life situations, such as on a bus or in a waiting room, actively give up your own seat. You can narrate your actions by saying, ‘I will stand so that this uncle can sit down; he looks tired.’ Then, explain to your child, ‘That is how we show our respect for our elders.’ Your sincere example will leave a lasting and memorable impression. 

Build Confidence Through Practice 

You can build your child’s confidence in a safe and comfortable setting through role-play. At home, you can pretend to be an elderly guest and say, ‘I am pretending to be Grandma now.’ Encourage your child to respond with, ‘Here, Grandma, you can have my seat.’ This practice gives them the words and confidence to use in real-life moments. 

Acknowledge and Praise the Act 

When your child does offer their seat to an elder, acknowledge the gesture with warmth and sincerity. A simple word of praise like, ‘I loved how you immediately offered Auntie your seat when she arrived. That showed real respect and kindness,’ reinforces the value of their action and makes them feel proud of their choice. 

Establish it as a Family Value 

Make this courtesy a clear and consistent family standard. By regularly reminding them, ‘In our family, we always make sure to offer our seat to someone older,’ you are building a strong habit that will eventually become second nature. This makes it a non-negotiable family principle. 

By linking the act of offering a seat to the core values of love, dignity, and family identity, your child learns that small acts of selflessness are what create a harmonious and respectful community. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great deal of importance on honouring elders and showing them the utmost respect in our daily lives. The simple act of offering them a seat is a meaningful and visible way for children to live out this essential Islamic value. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 24: 

‘And spread over them (your) auspices with humility and mercy; (and plead for them and) say: “O my Sustainer, have mercy (and forgiveness) on both of them, because they have nurtured me when I was a child”.‘ 

This beautiful verse commands us to treat our elders with humility and mercy. The physical act of standing up and offering a seat is a small but real expression of lowering one’s own comfort for the sake of another, which is the essence of humility. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4843, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Part of glorifying Allah is honouring the grey-haired Muslim, the one who teaches the Qur’an, and the just ruler.’ 

This profound hadith teaches us that the respect we show to our elders is not merely a social courtesy; it is an act that is directly linked to the glorification and honouring of Allah Himself. 

When children learn to offer their seat to older people, they are not just practising good manners. They are actively engaging in an act of humility, service, and reverence for the wisdom and status that age brings. These simple acts nurture a heart that values respect, earns blessings, and strengthens the bonds of love across generations.