How can I encourage them to admire helpfulness instead of cruelty? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children are often drawn to what appears powerful or dramatic, which is why they might admire or imitate cruelty more readily than quiet acts of kindness. A child pushing to get their way can seem strong, while gentle cooperation may go unnoticed. Your role is to reframe their understanding by showing that true strength lies in helpfulness, not harm. 

Emphasise the Positive Impact of Helping 

When you see someone being helpful, draw your child’s attention to the positive outcome. Explain that helpfulness builds people up, while cruelty and aggression break them down. 

• You could say, ‘Did you see how your friend helped tidy the toys? Because of that, everyone can now play in a clean space.’ 

• Or, ‘When the teacher spoke so kindly, it helped the whole class feel calm and ready to learn.’ 

Frame Helpfulness as a Strength 

Show your child that helping is not a passive or weak action, but rather one that is active and powerful. 

• Turn chores into a collaborative mission: ‘Let us be a strong team and get this done together!’ 

• Assign small responsibilities and praise them as acts of leadership: ‘You did a great job carrying that bag. That was a huge help to the family.’ 

When a child sees helpfulness as a valued and important contribution, they are more likely to admire it. 

Use Role-Play to Compare Choices 

Use playtime to act out different scenarios and contrast the outcomes of cruelty and helpfulness. 

• Create a scene where one character pushes into a line, while another helps by letting someone go first. 

• Ask your child reflective questions: ‘Which action made people feel good? Which choice would be more pleasing to Allah?’ 

This helps your child consciously shift their admiration away from cruelty and towards compassionate behaviour. 

Celebrate and Acknowledge Helpfulness 

Whenever your child chooses to be helpful, offer warm and immediate praise. This positive reinforcement teaches them that their kind actions are noticed and deeply valued. 

• Acknowledge their effort: ‘That was so kind of you to help me. You made my job much easier.’ 

• Offer a hug, a smile, or another gesture of appreciation to show that their helpfulness brings joy. 

Admiration for a behaviour grows when a child sees it is respected and celebrated by those they love. 

Spiritual Insight 

Guidance from the Quran 

Islam clearly defines where true honour lies, commanding believers to cooperate in goodness and piety. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maidah (5), Verse 2: 

‘…And participate with each other to promote righteousness and piety, and do not collaborate in the committal of any sin or moral transgression…’ 

This divine command makes it clear that honour lies in cooperating for good, not in participating in aggression. Teaching this verse helps your child understand that helpfulness is a core principle of their faith, a behaviour that Allah Almighty loves and commands. 

Guidance from the Hadith 

The rewards for helping others are immense, both in this life and the hereafter, making it a truly admirable quality. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1930, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever relieves a believer’s distress of the distressful aspects of this world, Allah will rescue him from a difficulty of the difficulties of the Hereafter.’ 

Sharing this Hadith inspires a child to admire helpfulness not just because it is kind, but because it is an act of great spiritual significance that earns the mercy and pleasure of Allah. It reframes helping from a simple action to a profound deed of faith.