How do I help my children understand the importance of rules even if they seem unfair? 

Parenting Perspective 

Acknowledge Their Feelings First 

When a child resists a rule because it feels unfair, it is a valuable opportunity to teach resilience. The first step is always to acknowledge their feelings: ‘I can see that this rule feels unfair to you.’ After validating their frustration, you can gently explain the bigger picture—that rules are often in place to keep everyone safe and to maintain order, even if they do not feel perfect in the moment. 

Teach Respectful Dialogue 

Encourage your child to follow rules while also teaching them that it is acceptable to ask questions. You can help them to practise respectful ways to express their concerns, such as asking a teacher, ‘Could you please help me understand why this rule is important?’ This nurtures both respect for authority and the confidence to speak up. By applying rules consistently at home, you model that boundaries are about care, not just control. 

Build Respect for Structure 

By combining empathy, explanation, and modelling, you help children develop respect for rules without feeling silenced. This teaches them that their character is shaped by how they respond to life’s structures, a skill that will serve them well into adulthood. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Command to Respect Authority 

Islam teaches that respecting structure and authority is a part of faith and is essential for a harmonious community, as long as that authority does not command something against the religion. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 59: 

‘ O you who are Believers, obey Allah Almighty and obey His Messenger (Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) and those who have authority amongst you…’ 

Obedience Has Limits 

The prophetic tradition clarifies that our respect for rules and authority has one clear boundary: the commands of Allah. This teaches a balanced approach where discipline is upheld, but never at the expense of our primary duty to our Creator. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 1839, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is obligatory upon a Muslim to listen and obey in what he likes and dislikes, except when he is commanded to disobey Allah. If he is commanded to disobey Allah, then he must neither listen nor obey.’ 

Balancing Discipline and Justice 

When you connect the importance of rules to Islamic principles, your child learns that respecting structure helps to build patience and discipline. They also learn a more profound lesson: that while we respect authority, our highest duty is always to obey Allah.