Parenting Perspective 

Present Rules as Shared Family Standards 

Children are more likely to resist rules when they feel unfairly targeted. The key is to present household rules not as individual commands, but as shared standards for the whole family. Instead of saying, ‘You need to clean your room,’ frame it collectively: ‘In our family, we all help to keep the house tidy.’ This approach fosters a sense of shared responsibility and prevents a child from feeling singled out. 

Involve Children in the Process 

Whenever possible, involve your children in the rule-making process. Asking for their input with questions like, ‘What do you think is a fair bedtime for the weekend?’ gives them a sense of ownership. It is also vital that parents model the exact same behaviour. If the rule is no phones at the dinner table, this must apply to the adults too. This consistency is what builds trust and prevents resentment. 

Foster Respect for Boundaries 

By making rules collective, consistent, and participatory, you foster respect for boundaries without creating the impression that one child is being unfairly disciplined. This builds a sense of unity within the home. 

Spiritual Insight 

Accountability Applies to Everyone 

Islam teaches that righteousness and accountability apply to every individual. The Quran reminds us that our true nobility in the sight of Allah comes from our own consciousness of Him (taqwa), a standard that everyone is held to. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘…Indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous; indeed, Allah (Almighty) is the Omniscient, the all Cognisant.‘ 

Rules are a Form of Protection and Guidance 

The prophetic tradition describes leaders, including parents, as shepherds responsible for their flock. This teaches us that the purpose of rules is to protect and guide those in our care, not to single anyone out unfairly. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, 1705, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock.’ 

Rules as a Source of Harmony 

When children see that house rules are based on fairness and care, and that their parents also abide by them, they are much more likely to embrace them. This approach builds a foundation of respect and trust, contributing to a unified and harmonious home.