How can I prepare my child to speak up respectfully when treated unfairly by peers? 

Parenting Perspective 

Equip Them with Respectful Phrases 

Teaching a child to speak up for themselves respectfully is a gift of confidence and dignity. Begin by validating their right to be treated fairly, letting them know it is okay to say something when they are wronged. You can then practise short, respectful phrases at home through role-play. Simple sentences like, ‘That does not feel fair, could I please have a turn?’ give them practical tools to use in the moment without sounding aggressive. 

Balance Assertiveness with Calmness 

Explain that speaking up is about standing for what is right, not about shouting or getting angry. Teach them to use a calm tone and to keep their words simple and clear. It is important to praise them for their courage when they try, even if their voice shakes a little. Reassure them, too, that if the unfairness continues, seeking help from a trusted adult is a sign of strength, not weakness. 

Handle Unfairness with Courage and Dignity 

By building communication skills and reinforcing respectful assertiveness, you prepare your child to handle unfair moments with courage and dignity, protecting their self-worth without escalating conflict. 

Spiritual Insight 

Speak Words of Appropriate Justice 

Islam encourages believers to speak the truth, but to do so with wisdom and fairness. The Quran commands us to fear Allah and to ensure our speech is just and appropriate, reminding us that how we speak is as important as what we say. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verse 70: 

‘ O those of you, who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and always speak with words of blatant accuracy.‘ 

The Nobility of Speaking Truth 

The prophetic tradition teaches that speaking a word of truth in a difficult situation is one of the most excellent and courageous forms of striving. This gives a child the confidence that standing up for what is right is a noble act. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, 2174, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most excellent jihad is the word of truth before a tyrannical ruler.’ 

Speaking Up as an Act of Faith 

When your child learns that speaking the truth respectfully is an act that is beloved by Allah, they begin to see it as a part of their faith, not as rudeness. This perspective can give them the confidence to stand calmly for what is right, knowing that they are practising both good character and spiritual strength.