What should I do if my child lies about winning when I know they did not? 

Parenting Perspective 

Correct Gently Without Shaming 

When a child lies about winning a game, it is often a sign of their desire for approval, not a deliberate attempt to be dishonest. The key is to correct the behaviour gently while protecting their self-esteem. Rather than a blunt accusation like, ‘You are lying,’ try a softer approach: ‘I know you really wanted to win, but it is okay that your score was lower this time.’ This addresses the untruth without shaming the child. 

Teach That Value Lies Beyond Winning 

Help your child to understand that the real value of a game comes from participating and having fun, not just from winning. After playing, make a point of highlighting the effort they showed: ‘I was so impressed by how you kept trying, even when it was a tricky part of the game.’ When you shift the focus away from the outcome, the need to lie about winning naturally lessens. 

Model and Reward Honesty 

If your child admits to losing, even if they are reluctant to do so, it is the perfect opportunity to praise their honesty: ‘Thank you so much for being truthful. That makes me more proud of you than any win ever could.’ This helps to create a safe family environment where honesty feels more rewarding than victory. 

Spiritual Insight 

Avoid All False Statements 

Islam teaches that truthfulness is a cornerstone of a believer’s character. The Quran commands us to avoid falsehood in all its forms, reminding us that even small untruths are an impurity to be avoided. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hajj (22), Verse 30: 

‘…So, abstain from the loathsome beliefs and practices of idol worship; and abstain from making false statements.’ 

Truthfulness Leads to Paradise 

The prophetic tradition beautifully illustrates the path of honesty, showing how the consistent practice of telling the truth, even when it is difficult, elevates a person’s status with Allah and leads them to Paradise. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 2607, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Truth leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as a truthful person.’ 

Honesty as a Source of Strength 

When you connect the act of being honest with earning the love of Allah, your child begins to see truth as a source of strength, not weakness. This helps them over time to face both winning and losing with dignity, humility, and sincerity.