How do I support my child who shares too much and gets taken advantage of by peers? 

Parenting Perspective 

Affirm Their Kindness, Introduce Boundaries 

It is heart-warming to see a child who is naturally generous, but it can be worrying when that kindness is taken advantage of by others. The goal is not to discourage their giving nature, but to guide them towards a healthy balance. Begin by affirming their good intentions and explaining that kindness is a beautiful quality. At the same time, gently explain that not everyone acts fairly, and that it is perfectly acceptable to say ‘no’ in certain situations. 

Teach Boundaries in Practical Ways 

It can be very helpful to role-play different scenarios at home. You could pretend to be a friend who keeps asking for things, and practise polite but firm responses together, such as, ‘I can share this one, but I need to keep this one for myself.’ This helps a child to see that setting a boundary does not make them unkind. It is also wise to set clear limits on what can be shared, distinguishing between general toys and special, personal items. 

Encourage Self-Respect 

Help your child to understand that valuing oneself is also a form of goodness. If they feel they are consistently being taken advantage of, encourage them to speak to a trusted adult or simply walk away. It is important to praise them when they show assertiveness, as this teaches them that strength and kindness can and should coexist. They will learn that generosity is most beautiful when it is guided by wisdom. 

Spiritual Insight 

Generosity with Moderation 

Islam teaches a balanced approach to all things, including generosity. While giving is a praiseworthy act, we are encouraged to be moderate, avoiding both stinginess and the type of extravagance that leaves us vulnerable. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 67: 

‘And it is those people that do not spend extravagantly, nor miserly; and (act in such a way) that is a balanced format between these two (extreme characteristics).’ 

Charity That Leaves You Self-Sufficient 

The prophetic tradition further refines this concept, teaching that the best form of charity is that which does not compromise one’s own essential needs. This shows that generosity must always be balanced with self-care and sustainability. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nasai, 2544, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of charity is that which leaves you self-sufficient.’ 

Kindness Guided by Wisdom 

By showing your child that setting boundaries is a part of Islamic wisdom, you teach them that protecting oneself is not selfish. Rather, it is a way of ensuring their generosity remains a sustainable and positive force. This helps them to grow into a kind and confident individual, rooted in both compassion and self-respect.