Parenting Perspective 

When a child goes from yelling to being quiet or pulling away emotionally during a tantrum, it can be concerning. Many parents see quietness as a sign of calmness, but for young children, being silent might indicate that they are feeling overwhelmed instead of settled. 

Children aged 0 to 11 are in the process of building their emotional vocabulary and learning how to manage their feelings. When individuals experience overwhelming feelings of frustration, confusion, or disappointment, they might choose to withdraw rather than express those emotions outwardly. This behaviour is common and should not be interpreted as defiance or avoidance. 

Responding with Presence and Empathy 

• Understand that withdrawal does not mean absence of emotion it often reflects emotional overload. 

• Instead of pressing for verbalisation, remain close, attentive, and calm. 

• Minimise distractions and external demands. 

• Allow your child time without insisting on eye contact or immediate response. 

Your steady demeanour helps them regain their balance. This method promotes emotional safety, particularly for sensitive or introverted children who tend to handle stress internally. 

Spiritual Insight 

Silence in distress is not foreign to our spiritual tradition. It reflects a state that invites gentleness and inward reflection. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Duḥa (93), Verses 3–5: 

Your Sustainer had never left (communication with) you, nor can ever this (relationship) be stale and your forthcoming (time) shall be even better than your previous (experience) and very soon, your Sustainer shall bestow so much upon you (everything that you desire) that you shall be pleased with Him. 

This message, originally directed to the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ during a period of silence and difficulty, offers reassurance that moments of emotional stillness are not signs of abandonment, but part of the human journey. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3689, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness in all things. 

This Hadith promotes a mindset of compassion, even when a child may pull away and not openly communicate their needs. Parents are encouraged to practise patience and compassion without expecting their child to meet specific demands or provide reasons for their behaviour. 

Being present without demanding immediate correction or verbal response respects the Islamic principle of compassion without judgement. Have confidence that healing occurs in stillness and embrace that space without worry. Whispering a short Dua in the child’s presence, such as Allahumma inni a’udhu bika minal hammi wal hazan (O Allah Almighty, I seek refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow), can be a gentle spiritual anchor. 

During these times, parenting transforms into more than just an emotional responsibility; it becomes a spiritual journey grounded in trust in Allah Almighty and an understanding of the inner world He has instilled in every individual, including the youngest among us.