Parenting Perspective 

Employing rewards to promote positive behaviour can be beneficial when applied judiciously and in moderation. For instance, providing a reward following a challenging yet essential activity, such as cooperating throughout a transition, may incentivise a child to behave calmly. 

Nonetheless, if incentives become the sole motivation for a child’s compliance, or if the youngster starts to insist on them for fundamental expectations, this may foster a pattern of transactional conduct. In such instances, the child anticipates a reward for behaviour that ought to integrate into their regular habit. 

Balancing Motivation and Emotional Development 

Prioritising consistency, transparent communication, and emotional engagement is more beneficial than relying on external rewards. 

Practical strategies include: 

• Progressively spacing out rewards. 

• Transitioning to non-material recognitions, such as verbal praise, smiles, or shared family activities. 

This fosters intrinsic motivation and assists the child in appreciating their efforts over the results. 

Guidelines for healthy reward use: 

• Rewards should be predictable and linked to specific behaviours. 

• Avoid using rewards as bribes during a tantrum. 

• Focus on helping the child manage their emotions rather than suppressing them. 

The objective is to assist youngsters in managing their emotions and behaviours, rather than to divert attention from or neglect the underlying emotional need that precipitated the outbursts. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to encourage good character through kindness, fairness, and the nurturing of moral awareness. The use of rewards can be part of this when done with wisdom and moderation, as long as the aim remains sincere character development. 

Allah Almighty reminds us in the noble Quran at Al Zalzalah (99), Verses 7–8: 

Thus, everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgement) and everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is wicked shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgement). 

This shows that every action, however small, is acknowledged and has consequences, and that understanding this can help shape a child’s moral sense from a young age. 

Moreover, it is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1921, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

He is not one of us who does not have mercy upon our young, respect our elders, and command good and forbid evil. 

This Hadith encourages us to think about the emotional and developmental requirements of our children. Encouragement and recognition can help a child feel more confident and connected. 

Islamic guidance highlights the importance of balance and intention. Rewards should not take the place of efforts to assist a child in developing patience, self-awareness, and emotional control. 

Parents can help their children grow and develop strong character that is pleasing to Allah Almighty by being consistent, compassionate, and setting clear boundaries.