Parenting Perspective 

When children overhear neighbours comparing houses, cars, or lifestyles, they often internalise these conversations and feel that their own family is being judged. Even when the remarks are not aimed at them directly, the underlying message that a bigger house or a newer car equals greater worth can weigh heavily on a child’s mind. 

The Emotional Vulnerability to Comparison 

A child’s sense of security is tied to their family’s dignity. When that is implicitly questioned through materialistic comparisons, it can make them feel vulnerable and exposed. 

Creating Feelings of Inadequacy and Shame 

A child may feel embarrassed about their family’s possessions, questioning why they do not have what others boast about. This embarrassment can lead to a reluctance to invite friends home, a quietness in social settings, or an ongoing sense of inferiority. These feelings can erode their confidence and plant unnecessary shame in their developing identity. 

The Distortion of Values and Priorities 

Children who are repeatedly exposed to material comparisons are at risk of learning that status symbols define success. Instead of valuing qualities like kindness and effort, they may come to see possessions as the only way to earn respect. This distorted outlook can make them restless and constantly comparing themselves with others. 

The Impact on Family Bonds 

This external pressure can cause problems within the home. 

• Pressure on Parents: Children might push their parents to upgrade their home or car, regardless of the family’s financial situation. 

• Loss of Gratitude: Instead of appreciating what they have, they may focus only on what they feel is lacking. 

• Tension and Blame: Some children may unfairly resent their parents for not providing the same luxuries as their neighbours. 

Helping Children Resist Material Comparison 

Parents can protect their child by creating a strong foundation of gratitude and perspective. Talking openly about the emptiness of material competition, celebrating simple joys at home, and showing dignity by responding calmly to neighbourly boasting helps children to see that their worth is not determined by a car or a house. By building traditions rooted in love and togetherness, parents can anchor their children’s pride in what truly matters. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that judging others based on their worldly possessions is a sign of arrogance and spiritual imbalance. True worth is found in a person’s character and piety, not in the size of their home or the model of their car. 

A Quranic Reminder on Pride and Possessions 

The Quran warns that a life spent competing for worldly status is a distraction that diverts people from their true and ultimate purpose. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Takaathur (102), Verses 1-2: 

‘Are you diverted by the obsession of infinite (worldly wealth)? Until such time as you observe the place of your demise (on this Earth).‘ 

This verse reminds us that a rivalry in wealth distracts from life’s purpose and leads people away from eternal success. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Modesty 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that humility is a divine command and is essential for a just and peaceful community, free from arrogance and boasting. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4179, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah has revealed to me that you must be humble, so that no one oppresses another or boasts over another.’ 

This hadith shows that arrogance and boasting bring no honour in the sight of Allah. 

Parents can help their children understand that Allah honours people for their piety (taqwa), not for their houses or cars. Teaching gratitude, humility, and simplicity equips children to rise above neighbourly comparisons. This builds a lasting resilience, so their self-esteem is rooted in faith and family love, rather than in the fleeting pride of material possessions.