How can I catch small acts of kindness and name them well? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children naturally grow into the qualities that we notice and affirm in them most often. When parents make an intentional effort to catch and name small acts of kindness, children learn that this quality is valued and begin to see it as a part of who they are. Without this recognition, these positive moments may pass by unnoticed, and children can easily conclude that only loud or negative behaviours command attention. 

Notice the Small, Everyday Gestures 

Kindness is not always found in grand gestures. More often, it is revealed in small, subtle actions like sharing a toy without being asked, helping a sibling with a task, holding a door for someone, or speaking in a gentle tone. It is important to stay alert to these small moments and highlight them. This shows your child that goodness does not have to be dramatic to be meaningful, and that every small, kind choice has value in your eyes. 

Describe the Action with Specific Praise 

Instead of offering broad, generic comments like, ‘Good job,’ or ‘That was nice,’ it is far more effective to be specific. 

‘I noticed that you gave your sister the last piece of fruit. That was a very kind and generous thing to do.’ 

This level of detail helps your child to connect their specific behaviour with the abstract value of kindness, teaching them exactly which actions you cherish and hope to see repeated. 

Connect the Action to Their Character 

Once you have described the kind behaviour, take the extra step of linking it to the person they are becoming. For example, you could add, ‘That shows me that you are becoming someone who really cares about the feelings of others.’ Framing kindness as part of their developing identity, not just a passing action, helps to plant the seed of positive self-worth. Over time, children begin to internalise kindness as a part of their character, rather than something they do only to receive approval. 

When parents repeatedly name and value these small acts of goodness, children start to find joy in kindness itself. This helps to build their inner motivation and resilience, shaping them into adults who find dignity in compassion and service. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, showing kindness to others is not merely a suggestion but a fundamental part of a believer’s character, reflecting the mercy and compassion of the Creator Himself. 

Kindness as a Divine Command 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 90: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) orders you to promote justice and benevolence; and to be generous towards (positively developing) those that are within your jurisdiction; and to prevent that which is immoral, acts of irrationality, and cruelty…’ 

This verse reminds us that kindness and fairness are not just social niceties but are in fact divine instructions that should shape how we interact with others in our daily lives. 

The Prophetic Example of Valuing Small Deeds 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 121, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not belittle any good deed, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face.’ 

This beautiful hadith teaches us that even the smallest gestures, such as a warm smile, a kind word, or a brief moment of generosity, carry immense value and weight in the sight of Allah Almighty. 

When parents intentionally notice and name their child’s small acts of kindness, they are mirroring the Prophetic model of uplifting even the tiniest of good deeds. This practice not only strengthens the bond between parent and child but also helps to raise a generation who view kindness as both a spiritual duty and a profound source of joy.