How to Comfort Your Kids After the Loss of a Sibling 

Parenting Perspective 

Their Fear Is a Natural Reaction 

When a family experiences the loss of a baby, the grief is shared by everyone, but it often shows up differently for children. For your older children, their fear that it could happen to them is a natural reaction to something they do not fully understand. They are trying to make sense of what feels unpredictable and frightening. 

Start With Reassurance 

The first step is reassurance. Let them know that what happened to the baby was very sad but also very rare. Speak gently, with age-appropriate language, and emphasise that they are safe and cared for. Your calmness, even if you are carrying your own grief, helps restore their sense of security. 

Give Them Permission to Feel 

At the same time, give them permission to feel sad and even scared. Instead of brushing aside their fears with quick answers, acknowledge them: ‘I understand that this makes you feel worried. It made me feel very sad too.’ This teaches them that their emotions are valid, and that grief does not need to be hidden. 

Show That Family Life Continues With Warmth 

Children also need to see that family life continues with warmth. Small routines, shared meals, bedtime stories, or making Dua together can all help rebuild their sense of stability. You might invite them to honour their sibling through acts of Sadaqah Jariyah, such as giving charity in the baby’s name, which gives them an active role in transforming grief into love. 

You Do Not Have to Appear Unaffected 

For yourself, try to remember that you do not have to appear unaffected in order to comfort them. It is possible to show your sadness while also showing that you are still steady enough to guide them. This balance allows your children to see that grief is painful, but it can be lived through with hope. 

Spiritual Insight 

Tests Bring Reward and Reassurance 

At moments of loss, Islam provides both comfort and perspective. 

We Belong to Allah and to Him We Return 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al-Baqarah (2), Verses 155–156: 

‘And indeed, very soon We (Allah Almighty) will test you with something: with fear; and hunger; and impoverishment of wealth and life and fruits of life; and give good news to those who are resilient. Those are the people when they come across any tribulation; they say ‘Indeed, we (came) from Allah (Almighty) and indeed, we will return to Him’’.  

This reminds us that tests are part of life’s journey, yet patience and turning to Allah bring reward and reassurance. 

Loss Is Honoured in Islam 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Book 6, Hadith 173, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever has three children die before reaching the age of puberty, Allah will admit him to Paradise by virtue of His mercy to them.’  

This shows that the loss of a child is not only acknowledged but honoured in Islam, with immense reward promised to parents who bear it with patience. Sharing this teaching in simple terms can reassure your children that their sibling is safe with Allah, and that their family’s love for the baby is never lost. 

By combining gentle reassurance, open space for feelings, and reminders of Allah’s mercy, you guide your children through their fears while grounding them in faith. In doing so, you help them see that even in grief, your home can remain a place of safety, love, and spiritual strength.