How to Nurture Sibling Closeness During a Divorce 

Parenting Perspective 

Both Reactions Are Rooted in Fear 

In the middle of divorce, children often respond in different ways. Your eldest may cling to the sibling bond as an anchor, while the younger one might feel overwhelmed and resist closeness. Both reactions are rooted in fear and uncertainty, but they express it differently. Your role is to help them see each other as safe companions rather than competitors for your attention. 

Validate Both of Their Feelings 

Start by validating both of their feelings. Tell your eldest that it is wonderful he finds comfort in his brother, while also reassuring the younger one that it is acceptable to want space. By showing that you recognise their different needs, you help prevent either child from feeling blamed. 

Create Moments of Cooperation Without Pressure 

To build connections, create small moments where they cooperate without pressure. This could be a shared task such as setting the table together, or a short game where their success depends on teamwork. Keep these moments brief so the younger one does not feel forced and highlight even small acts of kindness between them. Over time, positive interactions will replace the pattern of clinging and rejection. 

Model Balance and Use Gentle Routines 

It also helps to model balance. If one child becomes dominant in expressing need, reassure the other that their place in your heart is equally secure. Gentle routines, such as ending the day with a family du’a or story, can remind them that despite changes in the family structure, they are still part of one unit. 

Guide Them Towards Mutual Respect 

By nurturing empathy and creating shared experiences, you guide them towards closeness built on mutual respect, not pressure. 

Spiritual Insight 

Make Peace Between Your Brothers 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’  

This Verse reminds us that unity is a mercy from Allah, and reconciliation is an active duty. For siblings, this means teaching them that their bond is not only about companionship but also about supporting one another in times of trial. 

A Muslim Is the Brother of a Muslim 

It is recorded in Riyadh as-Salihin, Hadith 235, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He does not oppress him, nor does he abandon him.’ 

Applied here, the hadith teaches that siblings are entrusted with protecting each other, not turning away in moments of hardship. 

By weaving these teachings into your parenting, you can show your children that their sibling relationship is a trust from Allah. Encourage them to see one another as allies chosen by Allah, and remind them that leaning on each other during difficulty is a way of living their faith. This approach reassures both children that they are not alone in the changes around them, and it frames their sibling bond as a source of strength that can outlast the challenges of divorce.