How to Reintroduce Normality After a Loss 

Parenting Perspective 

Help Them Adjust Gently 

Losing a grandparent can be a deeply unsettling experience for children. They may not only miss their grandmother but also feel as though the world around them has shifted. This can explain why their moods and routines have been shaken. Your role as a parent is to help them adjust gently, without forcing them to ‘move on’ before they are ready. 

Validate Their Grief 

Begin by validating their grief. Acknowledge that it is normal to feel sad, tired, or unsettled after losing someone they love. Let them know that grief does not have a timeline and that their feelings are seen and respected. By naming these emotions, you prevent them from feeling that their sadness must be hidden. 

Reintroduce Routines Gradually 

When it comes to reintroducing routines, approach it gradually. Start by reinstating small daily habits, such as regular mealtimes, bedtime routines, or school preparations. These familiar anchors bring a sense of safety without invalidating the grief. You can say something like, ‘We are sad, but we also need to take care of ourselves, and part of that is keeping our normal routines.’ 

Create Space for Remembrance 

At the same time, create space for remembrance. This could be through making dua for their grandmother together, sharing positive memories, or keeping a small act of Sadaqah in her name. When remembrance is woven into routine, children learn that normal life and grief can coexist. 

Life Can Hold Both Grief and Care 

The key is balance: neither rushing them out of grief nor letting routines dissolve completely. By guiding them with compassion and steadiness, you show that life can hold both love for the one who has passed and care for those who remain. 

Spiritual Insight 

Death Is a Return to Allah 

As Muslims, we are reminded that grief is part of life, but Allah provides comfort and hope to the believers. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 156: 

‘Those are the people when they come across any tribulation; they say “Indeed, we (came) from Allah (Almighty) and indeed, we will return to Him”.’ 

This Verse is not only a reminder of mortality but also a source of peace, teaching children that death is a return to Allah, who is Most Merciful. Including them in saying this phrase helps them link their sadness to faith, giving it meaning rather than leaving it as an empty ache. 

Express Grief While Holding on to Faith 

It is recorded in Mishkat al-Masabih, Book 9, Hadith 194, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The eyes shed tears, the heart feels sadness, but we only say that which pleases our Lord.’  

This Hadith shows children that expressing grief is natural and even the holy Prophet ﷺ wept, but he anchored his emotions in words that pleased Allah. It provides a model of honesty with emotions while holding on to faith. 

By gently restoring routines, honouring their grief, and connecting them to these reminders from the noble Quran and Hadith, you reassure your children that their sadness is valid and that healing is possible. In time, they will see that life continues with remembrance, stability, and trust in Allah.