How should parents handle it if they realise their own tech habits set a poor example for children? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children are far more likely to copy what they see their parents do than what they are told to do. If you realise that your own overuse of your phone or distracted digital behaviour has been setting a poor example, the most powerful first step is honest self-awareness. Addressing this with humility and a sincere commitment to change can transform the situation from a parental failure into a powerful lesson for the whole family. 

Acknowledge the Influence of Your Example 

Instead of hiding the problem or making excuses, you can openly admit your shortcomings. Saying something like, ‘I have noticed that I am using my phone too much, and I want to change that,’ does not weaken your authority. On the contrary, it builds credibility by showing your children that you value integrity and self-awareness. 

Model the Change in Real Time 

The most effective way to repair a poor example is to demonstrate visible and sincere improvement. You can set small but clear personal goals, such as putting your own device away during mealtimes or not scrolling on your phone when your children are speaking to you. When your children see you not just struggling, but actively trying to improve, they learn that discipline is a process, not just a state of perfection. 

Turn It Into a Shared Family Effort 

Instead of framing the issue as solely a parental failure, you can invite your family to turn the moment into a shared journey of improvement. You could say: ‘Let us all work on creating healthier tech habits together.’ By creating new family routines, such as screen-free dinners or evening walks, you can help your children to feel that the change is a positive and collective one, not something that is being unfairly imposed only on them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that sincerity is the cornerstone of all guidance. By admitting our own mistakes, modelling healthier habits, and turning the process of change into a shared family journey, parents can repair the example they set and strengthen the bonds of trust in the home. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Saff (61), Verses 2–3: 

‘ O you who are believers, why do you say (to others) that) which you do not do (yourself)? It is highly detested by Allah (Almighty) that you say (to others) that which you do not do (yourself).‘ 

This powerful verse is a direct reminder to parents that we must practise what we preach. Our children are far more likely to follow guidance that is lived with sincerity, not just spoken with the tongue. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, 1952, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘There is no gift that a father gives his child more virtuous than good manners.’ 

This teaching shows that the act of raising children through a good example is a form of worship in itself, and that striving to embody the qualities of discipline and balance is an act that is rewarded by Allah. 

This approach teaches children that even adults must continue to grow and improve, and that sincerity in one’s actions is always more powerful than words alone.