How can parents guide a child who has been groomed with flattery or gifts online before it escalates further? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child is being groomed online through excessive flattery or gifts, it can be a deeply confusing experience for them. They may not recognise that they are being manipulated, as the attention can feel exciting and affirming. It is crucial for parents to approach this dangerous situation with wisdom, addressing the manipulation without shaming the child for having fallen victim to it. 

Understand What Your Child May Be Feeling 

It is important to acknowledge the emotions your child may be feeling, rather than dismissing them. The praise and attention they received might have felt special or exciting. Acknowledging this allows you to have an open conversation, which prevents your child from feeling ashamed or defensive about having enjoyed the attention. 

Explain the Dangers of Flattery and Gifts 

Calmly explain that online predators often use exaggerated praise, compliments, or rewards to create a false sense of trust. This grooming process can then escalate into requests for secrecy, inappropriate conversations, or even exploitation. Help your child to understand that real, healthy care never comes with pressure, secrecy, or manipulation. 

Take Calm and Decisive Action 

It is important to remain calm and composed. Open a dialogue with your child, encouraging them to show you the messages or gifts they have received. It is vital to preserve this evidence. You should then, together with your child, block and report the account. Taking these steps together empowers your child and shows them that you are their protector. 

Reinforce Their True Value at Home 

After the immediate risk has been addressed, focus on rebuilding their confidence. Replace the false affirmation they received online with real, genuine validation at home. Regularly remind them of their unique strengths and assure them that their true worth is rooted in who they are as a person, not in what strangers say about them or give to them. This helps to ensure they do not feel the need to seek such dangerous approval online again. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to be wary of deception and to understand that flattery and excessive praise can be tools used for manipulation. Parents can help their children to see that a person’s true worth should be anchored in their faith and family values, not in the words of strangers online. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verses 9: 

‘They seek to deceive Allah (Almighty) and those people who are believers; (the reality is that) they do not deceive anyone except themselves, and they do not understand (the reality of their delusion).’ 

This verse reminds us that deceptive behaviour ultimately only harms the deceiver, but that believers must remain vigilant to guard against being fooled by it. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, 2018, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most detestable of men in the sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be the boastful braggart.’ 

This teaching shows that empty praise and attention-seeking are condemned characteristics. It serves as a warning that falling for this kind of flattery can weaken a person’s faith and their moral compass. 

By anchoring your child’s sense of self-worth in their relationship with their family and their faith, you can protect them from the dangers of online grooming. This not only safeguards their emotional well-being but also nurtures their spiritual dignity and self-respect.