What should parents say to a teenager who feels embarrassed to discuss their online mistake? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is common for teenagers to make mistakes online, whether by clicking on harmful content, saying something unkind, or engaging in other behaviour they later regret. A deep sense of embarrassment can often prevent them from opening up to their parents about what happened. In these moments, parents need to communicate that while the mistake itself is serious, their child’s dignity remains intact, and that their honesty is valued far more than secrecy. 

Begin With Reassurance 

Begin by saying something reassuring: ‘I know it must feel very embarrassing to talk about this, but I want you to know that you are always safe to tell me anything. A single mistake does not define who you are as a person.’ This initial step separates the action from their worth and calms their immediate fear. 

Normalise the Struggle Without Excusing the Action 

Acknowledge that making mistakes is a part of life. You could say: ‘Many young people get caught up in things online that they later regret. The important thing is to learn from what happened and to move forward in a better way.’ This reduces shame by showing them their struggle is not unique, while still making it clear that the behaviour needs to be corrected. 

Praise the Courage to Speak Up 

Highlight the fact that their honesty is a sign of strength and good character. You can praise them directly: ‘It takes a lot of maturity to admit when something has gone wrong. That shows real character, and I am proud of you for telling me.’ This reinforces the idea that honesty is a strength. 

Offer Guidance With Compassion 

Once your teenager has opened up to you, you can then gently guide them on how to handle the consequences of their mistake. This might involve helping them to apologise, delete certain content, or reset their personal boundaries for the future. By doing this calmly, you show them that mistakes can be valuable steps towards growth. 

By balancing reassurance with accountability, parents can help their teenager to transform a moment of embarrassment into an opportunity for building strength and deepening family trust. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that even the most righteous of believers will make mistakes. What matters most is a person’s response: whether they turn back to Allah Almighty with honesty and sincere repentance. Parents should strive to mirror this divine mercy by responding to their children’s mistakes with compassion, not condemnation. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verses 53: 

‘ Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “O my servants, those of you who have transgressed against yourselves (by committing sin); do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah (Almighty); indeed, Allah (Almighty) shall forgive the entirety of your sins; indeed, He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful”.‘ 

This is a powerful reminder for a teenager who is feeling ashamed. It reassures them that no mistake is too great to be forgiven, and that the door to the mercy of Allah is always open to them. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4251, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every son of Adam commits sins, and the best of those who commit sins are those who repent.’ 

This teaching clarifies that making mistakes does not make a person ‘bad.’ On the contrary, the act of feeling regret and turning back to Allah in repentance is what defines the best of people. 

By offering their teenager reassurance that is rooted in these principles of mercy, parents can help them to see that embarrassment is only a temporary feeling. It is the acts of repentance, honesty, and personal growth that bring a person lasting honour in the sight of Allah Almighty.