How can parents prevent sibling rivalry when one child is far more advanced with technology? 

Parenting Perspective 

Sibling rivalry can easily develop when one child appears to be ‘better’ at something than the other, and in today’s world, that ‘something’ is often technology. A tech-savvy child may seem more capable, which can leave their sibling feeling overshadowed, left behind, or less valued. Parents can help to ease this rivalry by celebrating each child’s unique strengths, ensuring fairness in the attention they give, and teaching them that a person’s worth is not determined by any single skill. 

Celebrate Individual Strengths 

Make a point of reminding both children that everyone has been blessed with their own unique talents. You could say: ‘Your sibling may know a lot about apps, but you shine so brightly in your own ways too.’ Be specific in highlighting their achievements in other areas, such as sports, creativity, kindness, or their school studies, to ensure recognition is balanced. 

Avoid Making Comparisons 

Never use one child’s technical skill as a way to belittle the other, for example, by saying, ‘Why cannot you be more like your brother with computers?’ Instead, frame their differences as a diversity of gifts: ‘Allah gives every person different abilities so that we can help and balance one another.’ 

Create Opportunities for Sharing 

You can actively turn a situation of potential competition into one of cooperation. Encourage the tech-savvy child to patiently teach a skill to their sibling, and in return, encourage the other sibling to share one of their own unique strengths. This simple act helps to turn competition into cooperation. 

Give Equal Attention and Boundaries 

Ensure that being skilled with technology does not translate into receiving extra privileges or more attention. For example, both children should be expected to follow the same screen-time rules, regardless of their respective skill levels. Fairness reduces resentment and reinforces the idea that all family members are treated equitably. 

By consistently affirming both children’s inherent worth and creating opportunities for them to cooperate, parents can help to turn potential rivalry into a relationship of mutual respect and balance. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that every person has been blessed by Allah with a unique set of gifts and abilities. True dignity comes not from possessing a specific worldly skill, but from one’s righteousness and sense of gratitude for the blessings one has been given. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verses 71: 

‘ And Allah (Almighty) has preferred some a few over others in the provisions (of this world); but those people who have been preferred (in this way), do not share their provisions, even with those people that they are legally bound to (provide for), in case (it was deemed) that they had become equal to them; then is it the benefactions of Allah (Almighty) that they discard?‘ 

This verse reminds us that differences in the abilities and provisions given to people are a part of Allah’s divine plan. These differences are meant to be accepted with gratitude, not used as a basis for rivalry or arrogance. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 235, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not envy one another, do not inflate prices one to another, do not hate one another, do not turn away from one another, and do not undercut one another, but be servants of Allah as brothers.’ 

This teaching provides a clear prohibition against the negative feelings that fuel rivalry. Envy and competition weaken relationships, while unity and mutual respect are what strengthen the bonds between siblings and all believers. 

By grounding your children’s differences in the principles of gratitude and fairness, you can help them to see that proficiency with technology is just one of many gifts from Allah. They can learn, over time, that true honour comes from using whatever talents Allah has given them in ways that benefit and uplift others.