What is the best way to explain to teens that practising modesty online is a form of strength, not weakness? 

Parenting Perspective 

Many teenagers view modesty, whether in their dress, speech, or online conduct, as a restriction that makes them appear less confident or ‘cool’ than their peers. This is understandable in a social media landscape that often glorifies self-promotion and the pursuit of likes. Parents can help by reframing modesty not as a limitation, but as a powerful act of dignity, showing that true strength lies in self-respect and self-control. 

Redefine Modesty as Empowerment 

Explain that in Islam, modesty is not about shyness or weakness; it is about having the strength to choose what you share with the world and what you protect. You could say: ‘When you are modest, you are in control of how others see you, instead of letting the world’s trends demand that you reveal more of yourself.’ This helps teenagers to see modesty as a choice of strength, not a limitation. 

Show Real-Life Examples 

Point out positive and respected role models, whether they are scholars, athletes, or community figures, who carry themselves with dignity. Highlight to your teenager that the deepest admiration people have for others is almost always for their character, not constant display. 

Discuss Online Pressures Honestly 

Acknowledge how challenging it can be when it seems as though peers are getting attention for immodest behaviour. Create a safe space for your teenager to express their struggles with this, and then gently contrast that fleeting attention with the long-term, genuine respect that is earned by those who value their dignity. This helps them to see the wisdom behind restraint. 

Model Confidence in Modesty 

When parents practise modesty with pride and self-assurance in their own lives, children see firsthand that it is not a sign of weakness. Teenagers need to witness that modesty and confidence can and should go hand in hand. Your own example is the most powerful lesson you can teach. 

By reframing modesty as an act of self-mastery and a reflection of high self-worth, parents can inspire their children to wear it as a badge of strength rather than a burden. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam elevates the quality of modesty (haya) as one of the most beautiful characteristics of faith, linking it directly to a person’s dignity, self-respect, and inner strength. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verses 30: 

‘ Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) to the believing men to lower their gaze (upon forbidden things); and protect their private parts (with chastity); these actions shall help them (attain) piety; indeed, Allah (Almighty is All Cognisant of all of their actions.‘ 

This instruction, directed to the believing men, reminds us that modesty is a universal principle that is not about weakness but about purity, strength, and self-respect for all believers. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 35, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Faith has over seventy branches, and modesty is a branch of faith.’ 

This foundational teaching clarifies that modesty is not a mere cultural preference but an integral sign of true belief, directly tied to the strength and completeness of one’s relationship with Allah Almighty. 

By linking modesty to strength, faith, and dignity, parents can help their teenagers understand that modest behaviour online is not about hiding oneself. Rather, it is about actively protecting one’s honour and seeking to earn the love of Allah Almighty. Over time, they will learn that modesty gives them control, respect, and a true, unshakable confidence that no amount of ‘likes’ can ever replace.