How to Encourage Your Children to Rely on Their Father Too 

Parenting Perspective 

It is very common for children to become accustomed to one parent as their ‘go-to,’ especially when that parent is more available in the day-to-day routine. The challenge is that this pattern can unintentionally leave you overextended and your husband less involved. What you want is a shift in balance without your children feeling pushed away. 

One way to start is by gently redirecting your children in the moment. If they call you while their father is right there, you can warmly say, ‘Baba is here, he can help you.’ This way, you affirm their need while guiding them towards him. Children often resist change at first, but consistency in your responses will help them accept that both parents are available for them. 

Agree on Areas of Leadership 

Another step is to agree with your husband on clear areas where he will take the lead. For example, bedtime routines, homework help, or handling sibling disagreements can be his responsibility. When children repeatedly see him in that role, they will naturally begin to seek him out. It is important to communicate this shift positively, so your children experience it not as rejection from you but as an expansion of their support system. 

At the same time, reassure your children that your love is not lessened just because you are sharing responsibilities. You might say, ‘I am always here for you, and so is Baba. You have both of us.’ Children thrive when they feel secure in their parents’ unity. 

By steadily building these patterns, you create space for your husband to grow in his parenting role, while giving yourself breathing room and protecting your relationship with your children from the strain of over-dependence. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tahreem (66), verse 6: 

‘O you who are believers, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire (of Jahannam) whose fuel is people and stones; over which (are appointed) Angels that are uncompromising and meticulous (in executing the punishment); (who) do not disobey what Allah (Almighty) has commanded them, and only do that which they are decreed.’ 

This Verse reminds both parents that safeguarding and guiding children is a shared duty, not one parent’s burden alone. Building reliance on both mother and father is part of protecting and nurturing the family together. 

The Prophetic Model: Both Parents are Shepherds 

It is recorded in Mishkat al-Masabih that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.’ 

[Mishkat al-Masabih, 18:25] 

This Hadith affirms that both parents have responsibility in raising and caring for children. When you encourage your children to rely on their father, you are not withdrawing love; you are honouring the trust Allah has placed on both parents. 

By calmly redirecting your children and reinforcing your husband’s role, you protect your own emotional balance, strengthen the family bond, and raise children who learn to seek comfort and guidance from both parents equally.